Silhouettes
by darkangelyuna14
Summary: The quiet girl, Ayumi, has always been silent. But how will she react, when the two strange twins ask to be her friends. Will she realize what big trouble is waiting for her, and is she the new exorcist they are searching for? JasderoxOCxDebitto story
1. Learning to be Human

_I was always the silent one. The quiet girl, nobody cared for._

_I never said a word to anyone, except for when the teacher asked me something._

_I hated to stand up, while everyone's faces were looking directly at mine._

_Why?_

_Well, because of some bad experiences. Some experiences I couldn't erase from my mind._

_Because I got a bad feeling every time I was thinking about them._

_Because they were embarrassing, all of them._

_I really hated myself, and so did others._

_Why?_

_Because I was annoying? Stupid? Mean?_

_I didn't know, and I had never known why._

_I was always the last one to stand back. Everyone picked anyone else than me._

_I was actually jealous of them. They were always around friends and I was always alone._

_At first, they tried to bully me. I looked like I didn't care on the outside, but on the inside, it really hurt._

_When they realized they couldn't bother me, they started ignoring me._

_But even if they were ignoring me, I could still hear them sniggering at me, every time I said something._

_**It makes me sick.**_

_I am always silent, because I don't want more embarrassing things to happen. I don't want them laughing at me again. Ever._

_**I hate humans!**_

* * *

My hand was trembling. I was really nervous. I always was, every time I was near my class.

I was standing outside of the door to the classroom. I knew all of their eyes would be focused on me, when I walked in.

I swallowed, took a step forward and opened the door. My heart was beating fucking fast, and my fear for what would happen when I walked in, had begun.

The door creaked slowly, as I quietly walked in. Their eyes were narrowing quickly at me, but not looking directly at mine. The girls were sniggering. The boys were giving each other glances and nodding in agreement, like they were having a conversation without words.  
I was completely dry in my mouth, knowing that I hadn't drunk anything that morning. There was no way I could survive another day in this nightmare!

But I tried to avoid looking at them. Instead I looked at my seat, but then my eyes widened. Not because of my seat, but on each side actually. Some strange guys were sitting there. I hadn't seen them before, but they were certainly different from the others in my class.

A dark haired boy –pretty hot actually- with strange clothes on, was sitting on the left side of the table.

On the right side, there was a boy with long blond hair. At first, I thought he was a girl, but on a closer look, I could see he was defiantly not. He was wearing clothes resembling to the dark haired one's. He looked a little weird- his mouth had apparently been sewn, and his eyes were not looking in a certain direction. They were both wearing dark heavy makeup.

I liked they're style actually. I thought it was cool in some creepy weird looking way.

I wondered if they were best friends or something, because you could see they were related to each other in some way.

The teacher had heard my sudden interruption, because he looked up at me, from his table. "Oh, Kurayami-san, glad to see you have come. This is a couple of new students, who have just attended today." His hand was alluding to the new students, who were just looking bored. "No need to be shy" he continued, "you can just sit between them." He smiled, like he always did, and his hand was then pointing at my seat.

I gave a quick glance at the two, before sitting down. From the quick glance, I could see they were both staring at me with an intense look planted on their faces. Well, the black haired one had, the blond looked like he was trying to build a house of rubber from his pencil case.

He quickly narrowed at me, and then continued with his rubber house, which was apparently going to break down soon.

A piece of paper was ahead of me, lying on the table. I glared at it. A new test again. A math test. Oh, for God's sake, couldn't it have been anything else than arithmetic! I knew I wasn't really good at it, but that didn't really help.

I took a pencil case from my school back, opened it and now sat with a pencil in my hand. I really couldn't concentrate, and my mind started thinking all kinds of thoughts. Narrowing at the black haired on my left side, I realized that he was staring at me. He wasn't just staring; his eyes were looking right into mine now. When he noticed I was looking at him, he grinned widely.

I quickly turned my head down on the sheet, blushing a bit. I hoped he didn't see that. I wasn't used to people grinning at me, so I didn't really know how to react. I tried to focus again.

_Focus… focus… focus…_

If x= b+a : 3b , then what was x? I scratched the back of my head, trying to get the answer.

There was no way I could pass the test.

When I didn't know what to do, I looked at the blond one instead. His rubber house had now gotten a ceiling of pencils.

It didn't look like he had even been looking on the test, but wait… there **was** something written, but I wouldn't be seen like I was copying his work, so I tried to focus on my own again. Maybe he wasn't so stupid. Maybe he had really made the test, all right and quickly too, and therefore he didn't know what to do now, and had then started building. Maybe he really was a genius. Maybe… though he didn't really look like one…

Okay, I knew what to do; the questions I could quickly answer, I was going to answer now. So if the function was F= x : km/h, then-

Bonk, bonk, bonk, clank.

I looked at where the sound was coming from. The blonde's rubber house had finally met its destiny, and broke down. Now, all the pencils and rubber pieces were lying on the floor under him.

I could hear a giggle from the left side, and some from behind me. Some of the girls were whispering to each other and then giggling. The teacher looked at the commotion, the blond boy had caused and made a "Hrmpf" sound, which meant that they had to be silent. But that didn't go that good, since our class was the most spoiled one at school.

The boy's big blue eyes met mine with an almost impressed look, before he started to pick up all the pencils and rubbers from the floor. I wondered if he was insane or something; why else would his mouth have been sewn? And had he done it himself, or did someone else do it? Ouch…

Looking at the time, I quickly returned to my test. Only ten minutes left. Not good! Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit!

The black haired one was still giggling from my left side, at the fall of his friend's rubber house, so it was damn hard to concentrate. I really tried my best to write down the right answers, but really, I was so horrible at math. I wrote and wrote until the time was up. They were probably all wrong, but I had to stop worrying, or else I would go crazy or something, though.

Finally, I wrote my name down on the sheet and gave it to the teacher. He sure didn't look excited or expectant, because he knew how bad I was at it. Now I could finally have a lunch break, and I was damn hungry.

I looked back at the blonde and he looked at me. Then a big grin was spread across his face, clearly revealing all of his stitches.

I turned around, blushing, very badly this time. While fidgeting with my hair, I quickly walked out of the door, down to the lunch room.

Did this day never have an ending?

* * *

Handing over the test to the teacher, he gave me a glare, looking like he was disgusted by my style.

But I didn't give a damn; my life, my style.

My brother, who had already handed his test over, was waiting for me at the door. He gave me one of his big smiles, I just couldn't resist, so I grinned back. This school actually wasn't so boring. It was fun to mess with the teacher and probably also the students, but we hadn't tried yet.

The lesson, we had just had, had been so much fun! The girl besides me had suddenly looked at me. I don't know why, but I had also been staring at her in quite some time. She looked confused in a funny way, so I grinned at her and then she started blushing. That had surprised me a little. Well, I just don't really get human beings. Not only are they weak, but they're always getting touched by the slightest things. I just don't get it. Oh, but well, I'm not even a normal human, so I probably wouldn't understand it.  
But, anyway; she didn't look like all the others. Her dark brown curly hair and grey-blue eyes were different. None of the others from the class had curls. It was not like puffy curls but rather Tyki- curls. She didn't really look like an Asian girl, rather European or something, well I didn't care. Her clothes were different too. It looked a little emo, but she wasn't even wearing makeup, so that kind of ruined it.

She looked very shy and her long curly hair was hiding a lot of her face, like she didn't want others to see it. Well, she **was** pretty, though… ugh, what the hell am I thinking!

In class I had gotten pretty bored and I didn't really want to do the test, so I just wrote a lot of 5 numbers in all the answer squares beside the questions. It looked like my brother had done the same, because he was having fun with the rubber and pencils. It had been so damn funny, when it had all been breaking down! He had looked startled and confused at the same time, when all of it was laying on the floor.

I was actually glad that Millennium Earl had sent us to this place. Then we could do a lot of pranks and have some fun. At first, I thought it sounded boring, because he had said something about finding the new exorcists and blah, blah, blah… I hadn't really been listening, but I knew it would be fun to mess with the humans here.

Jasdero and I were walking down the long hallway on our way to the lunch room. He had taken the light ball and the piece of cord off of his head, because' the Earl had told him to. He said it would ruin his concentration in classes. Maybe he was right.

"Oi, Jasdero." I spoke, "Wanna have some fun in the lunch room?" I grinned and he grinned back.

"What kind of fun, hii?"

"You know, we could try to talk to Miss Curly".

With "Miss Curly", I had of course been alluring to the girl, who had been sitting between us in the class. It was her new nickname, I had decided.

"You mean the girl named Kurayami, hii?"

Once again, he had surprised me with the memory of his.

"Um, yeah… her."

"Okay, sounds fun. She's pretty and her hair is pretty." What was with him and his love for hair?

"Yeah, this is gonna be much funnier from now on."

I grinned, showing my teeth and Jasdero giggled again.

As we walked into the lunch room, people took a lot of glances on us, thinking that we didn't notice. All of them were sitting in groups at every table you could see. Nerds were sitting at one table, talking about the newest games and stuff. Girls wearing makeup and being popular at another table. Sport guys, Goth girls; all kinds of people split up in groups. And almost over at the wall, furthest out, a girl with long brown curly hair was sitting, all alone by herself.

"Come on, Jasdero." I said, pulling him along with me, in the direction of the table.

Kurayami, who had been busy with her food, instantly froze, when she saw us. "No way." She muttered to herself, with a faint little voice. I thought it was a long time ago, she had last spoken.

"Yo." I said, sitting down on her right side, while Jasdero did it at the left side.

She was not looking very well; she was very pale in her skin, like she hadn't been out in the sun for a long time. But that didn't bother me. We very also very pale in our human forms. When I looked at where Jasdero should have been sitting, he was nowhere in sight. I turned my head in all directions, trying to find him.

There! He was at the canteen, getting some food on a plate. I could feel my stomach growling quietly. I instantly stood up and walked over to join my brother, who was putting on a lot of cakes and muffins on his plate. Glancing down at Kurayami again, I could see that she hadn't moved. She was sticking at her food with a fork, apparently bored.  
After coming back, we then sat down on each side of her, eating our food hungrily. Jasdero was cheerfully staring at her hair, with a concerned look, while eating slowly. She hadn't spoken a word, or smiled either, in all the time we had seen her today. She didn't even look like she thought it was fun, when the rubber-house-thing had happened. Was she depressed? Or tired maybe?

I then broke the awkward silence between us. "Your name is Kurayami, right?" I said, trying to look interested, which was hard, because I wasn't really interested in humans.

She didn't even look at me, but her eyes were almost looking scared behind her fence of hair. Was she afraid of me? No way in hell, that's stupid, too weak. But she then nodded slowly, without a word. Maybe she couldn't speak. Thoughts like that were flowing around in my head now.

"That's not your full name, hii." Jasdero pointed out, after he had finished his muffin.

"A-Ayumi Kurayami…th-that's my name."

That surprised me. She had finally spoken. Well, I kind of knew she could talk anyway, but…

But she was still not looking at us. Was she afraid of eye contact? Or maybe, people? No, that's ridiculous, even for her.

* * *

Why were these two interested in me? Why? I didn't know, and now they were sitting beside me.

I wanted to say something, but didn't know what.

The others from my class had been talking about them. Even the students from the other classes. But it wasn't bad things they were saying about them, like with me. The girls were talking about how hot that black haired boy was, and they were talking about how funny the blonde one was.

"I'm Debitto, though."

"And I'm Jasdero, and together we're Jasdevi, hii."

Okay, that was weird. Most friends didn't consider each other as one person, and I was still guessing they were friends.

Suddenly, I got a little of self confidence back and spoke. "Are you…best friends or something?" I was almost shocked by my own words. I hadn't been inspecting that coming.

Debitto was the first one to answer. "Well, yeah, kinda. We're twin brothers."

"You-you're twin brothers? But you down even look like each other." Again, my words surprised me. They just kept coming.

They looked at each other, glancing up and down. Then shrugged, not knowing what to say.

Without even noticing, I was now having eye contact with them. Again, I felt embarrassed, like it was forbidden to have eye contact. I then looked down on my food again, it was almost untouched.

"You're not hungry?" Jasdero asked.

I shrugged. I hadn't been eating breakfast lately, but I wasn't hungry. Even though I had been hungry in the class, it was completely gone now.

"Hmmm…" Debitto said in a thinking way.

"What?" I said, slightly nervous.

"Ayumi Kurayami… your name is too long. You need a nickname."

"A nickname?"

"What about Yumi-chan, hii?"

_Yumi-chan… what's with the -chan? We've just met each other._

"Great idea, Jasdero! But drop the –chan thing. So we'll just call you Yumi from now on, okay?"

_No one has ever given me a nickname… _

Jasdero was having problems with his cake, and was getting it all over his hands. He made a whining sound.

A thought came through my mind.

_Cute…_

No way! He could not be cute! That was impossible. But when I looked at his childish appearance and his big blue wide eyes, I just couldn't help it.

_But he's mouth is stitched!_

"Jasdero, you dummy. Can't you try **not **to get smeared in with all that cake?" Debitto sounded annoyed by his brother's way of eating.

He gave him a towel, to wipe it off of his hands. Jasdero cheerfully took it and began the cleaning process.

Then a thought came. They **were **brothers. You could see the caring look in Debitto's eyes, which showed how much he liked he's brother. Even if they didn't have anything in common on the outside, you could still see they were twin brothers. Were they always together like that?

I didn't even realize I was suddenly smiling. I quickly stopped, before they looked at me again.

"Yumi, I was just wondering something…"

I still hadn't got used to the nickname, although it was pretty.

"Yes?"

Jasdero was finished wiping all the cake away, and looked at his brother.

"Why are you so silent? I haven't heard you say a word before we came here. Why, are you shy or something?"

A long time I had feared, that they would ask me about this sometime. My mood was totally down again. I hated thinking about this again, but I would have to answer. Or I could just leave them, maybe? No, then they would ask even more…

"I… don't like talking to other people…"

I was looking down in the table. Now I certainly didn't want any eye contact.

"Why?" he asked again, more clearly and directly.

"Because they don't like me…"

"Why not? It's not like your annoying or anything."

"I really don't know why, but they always ignore me, or talk about me behind my back… I just don't like…socializing with people, when they are like that to me."

Debitto didn't look entirely convinced yet, and Jasdero looked at me with a confused look.

"You don't have any friends, do you?" he closed his eyes and waited for an answer.

"No." I said, immediately and quiet.

The awkward silence had come back, until Jasdero broke it.

"Then we can be your friends, hii."

I looked up at them, Jasdero beaming at me. Debitto grinned.

"Really?"

"Really really."

The school bell suddenly rang. Time for the rest of the classes.

* * *

_Wow, this is gonna be easy. If we get this girl to trust us, then we can easily get some information out of her. Maybe she has a relation to an exorcist. _

_The earl said, there should at least be one exorcist in this town, and at least one on the school. _

_And if she's the exorcist, it will be easy to kill her, without anyone noticing._

_This girl has no friends, so no one will miss her. Not even her class will miss her. _

_If we just keep acting like humans, she will not have any suspicion against us. And if she hasn't learned how to control her Innocence, it will be easy to destroy._

_And if she manages to escape, we will just send some Akuma out to get her._

_That will do it, but Jasdero and I have to keep the lust to kill humans in. Cause if we don't do that, maybe this school and all its students will die, and the Earl doesn't want any exorcists to notify any kills, cause then we will have to fight them again. It's best with no one knowing._

_Then it will be easy to kill more exorcists. Then it will be easy to kill Ayumi Kurayami..._


	2. Learning to Socialize

**Hey folks! This is the second chapter of Silhouettes, and again I hope you guys will enjoy it. This time, you get to know Yumi-chan a little more; and Debi-chan is also swearing a l****ot more in this one, and Dero-chan… he's just being so damn cute. Well, however I hope you like it :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own -Man or any of its characters. I only own my OC character(s)**

* * *

"No."

"Aw, come on, it's just—"

"No."

"But—"

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"I don't want to get detention, just because of you two." I almost snapped the last words at them, though I didn't really mean to; but they were beginning to get on my nerves.

I glared at them. Jasdero gave me the puppy eyes, but that didn't work on me. Debitto looked startled, like he hadn't expected me to refuse the idea.

The idea of a prank, they would pull on the teacher. And now, they wanted me to help them make the idea reality.

"Bitch." Debitto muttered.

He always swore, opposite to Jasdero, who was almost an angel himself. But I still wouldn't admit that he was cute, although he was.

I walked away from them, but Jasdero whined. "But it's gonna be soooo fun, hii!"

"No." I said quietly again. I had said yes to be their friend, but not to pull on pranks.

And, besides, if I did that, all the others would hate me even more. These two weren't helping at all. Well, they **were **funny and good to be together with, but what if they wouldn't respect me? Then what was I supposed to do? I really didn't want to lose some friends, but neither did I want to do a prank, which would cause unhappiness for others.

Jasdero wasn't following me anymore; he stayed together with his brother. I looked back, and I could see Debitto mumbling something under his breath. I was sure it was some more swearing. Now I almost regretted being so harsh. Maybe they didn't like me now…

Yesterday had been the day, I met them, and today they had already been waiting for me at the classroom. I didn't really know if this was a coincidence, but apparently I was sharing all the classes with them. This would be like hell. No… it would be worse than hell.

Actually, I could imagine Debitto standing there with a big fork in his hand and horns on his head; being all red like the devil himself. But Jasdero… no.

_Ugh, w__hat am I thinking? _

* * *

_Kurayami… you… bitch._

_Why the hell can't she see the funny thing about pranks! Aaaarrggg! I could kill her now! But then I would just be sent to the office. Damn, this isn't working, like I had expected. We have to get closer to her, but how?_

I still stared at her walking away. She had run off, just because of an idea. Stupid bitch…

Jasdero looked at me, like he was expecting me to come up with an idea. Couldn't he just find on something, himself!

"Debi… shouldn't we go talk to her, hii?"

"Like that would help, stupid!" Wow, I had just snapped at my own brother. Now I must have been really pissed.

"But Debiii… she looks like she hates us now…" Jasdero eyes were almost in tears.

"She doesn't hate us, Jasdero. But we have to get closer to her. To see if she's the exorcist or not, and actually… I think she **is**…" I almost whispered it the last words.

* * *

In class, I sat by myself as usual. Things weren't going well. I just got some friends, and now they wanted me to do something, I didn't want to…

I didn't want to get hated even more… and I didn't want to lose friends…

I looked at the door, which was being opened. It was them.

Debitto looked at me, angrily. I refused to look at him, so I looked down at my table.

The teacher walked in. It wasn't my math teacher, but my chemistry teacher. She sat down on her table. This teacher was defiantly someone you shouldn't mess with, unless you wanted to die. Seriously, if a look could've killed, I had already been dead together with my class.

Jasdero and Debitto had sat down on the tables behind me. I could almost feel the angry vibrations from them. I swallowed, really nervous now; they were making me feel unpleasant.

"So, today you're going to make a liquid, based on the pages you read in your chemistry book. If you look on the glasses ahead of you, you can see the green masses of…"

_Blah, blah, blah… what are we supposed to do with this? It's not like I'm going to be an Einstein or anything…"_

I yawned. This would be boring.

Suddenly, it looked like she was done with her speech, and that we were supposed to begin. Many of the others walked together in groups, but of course no one asked me. Not even the twins.

I began to look in my book, to see the formula, we were supposed to use.

My eyes widened. This was unreadable! It was just a lot of numbers and letters smacked together. I was only sixteen. How could they expect us to do such things!

I could suddenly hear someone giggling behind me, and I quickly took a glance. Jasdero and Debitto were putting all kinds of liquids from glasses together. It didn't look like they even followed the book, but the teacher didn't see anything; and that was very unusual.

I turned around again, facing the glasses with the green mass.

Then I could feel something hitting my back. I tried to ignore it, but then it came again. And then a "psst". Now it began again. My heart was beating faster than a cats, and I was really nervous.

A piece of folded paper was lying on my table. I opened it.

"Sorry for the thing earlier. Can you be together with us today, at your home?" it said.

I tore off a new piece of paper, wrote in it and threw it back without even looking. I didn't dare looking at them, afraid of getting a mad face from Debitto and Jasdero's puppy eyes.

"Ouch!" Jasdero yelped. It had probably hit him in the face.

Now I regretted again. I really didn't know how to react, and now they would sure hate me. What if I wasn't good enough for them? I was really feeling guilty by my answer, but I just didn't know how to react to something like that…

* * *

"Ouch!" I said, while rubbing my nose.

Debitto took the piece of paper and looked at it. I did too.

"No." it was written.

Didn't she want us to be together with her? Maybe, I wasn't sure. Or maybe, she didn't know how to answer such things. Maybe… she had never really had a friend…

I could hear Debitto swear to himself. He sure did it a lot today.

Then, we decided to let it be to after the school, and continued to make fun with the glass thingies. It was fun.

I giggled in amusement, when it began to bobble at the top of the liquid.

"No way." Debitto said, giggling.

"Hii" I said again. Things like this, we could never have done at home. Then the boss would be mad, and I didn't like when he was mad. I didn't like the way his glasses were reflecting the light. It was scary.

I stared into the now orange glass. Shiny… and bobbling…

Then it suddenly started to bubble over the glass in down on the table. Debitto's smile was gone, and mine too. This didn't look too good.

Debitto tried to get it away with the chemistry towel. It didn't work, cause the liquid continued on it's way down the glass.

The other students were starting to look at us. Some were giggling, but this wasn't fun anymore.

And suddenly…Splat!

The mass of orange and green liquid was all over our faces and clothes. That was it. The others were laughing their heads off, rolling down on the floor, falling from their chairs.

Debitto, who had gotten most of the orange on his face, was trying to keep in his own laughter, but failed. I did too, and I had mostly green on my face. The room was full of laughter.

I looked at Yumi, who sat ahead of us. She looked at us, but she wasn't laughing, not even smiling or grinning.

"So this is your friends, huh, Kurayami?" a guy from behind said in a sarcastic tone.

I remembered some of the students had seen us walking together and eating with Yumi yesterday. I think the whole school knew about it; the silent girl being together with the two new guys.

"What a couple of idiots!" another one said.

"Well, then they fit together, ha ha!" continued another.

"Yeah, she's such a stupid bitch; I mean, having something with **two **persons! "

"Yeah, and then two brothers! Ha ha hah!"

Yumi's eyes were full of tears now. She ran out of the room with her long hair moving in the air. Even her hair looked sad now…

"Hey! We're not idiots!" Debitto snapped back at them, but they were still laughing.

"Quiet!" the teacher yelled at us, and we immediately silenced. She wasn't nice.

"You two! You go directly to the office, now! And the rest of you, continue with your chemistry work, and not a word more!" she was pointing at us, and her finger sticking almost up in my face. She was defiantly not nice.

"Stupid bitch! You can't send us to the office, you stupid ignorant human!" Debitto yelled, right up in her face. He always knew how to respond, without sounding uncool. But he was not good at keeping in his temper.

She looked like she was going to explode now. But I decided to help my brother, by joining the conversation. "Ignorant human, hii!"

I soon regretted saying that. She then pointed in the direction of the door. "NOW!"

We quickly hurried up to, where the office should be, not looking back. The door had been smacked, we could hear. If we had had our guns, we could've killed her, but then again, the boss would probably be mad. He had confiscated our guns, because he said we could be kicked out of the school, if we had them there. I couldn't understand that. Didn't people normally use guns? Well, it was very normal for us…

* * *

I was running out of the school, almost tripping over my feet all the way. I was going home, cause I didn't know what else to do.

Why did I run away? I didn't want to, but I just couldn't find any other solutions…

_Now __they sure hate me even more…_

I could feel the tears streaming down my face, so I tried to wipe them away.

I was running past people on the streets, which didn't even look at me. They were only caring about themselves. That was how humans were, that was how I was. Sometimes, I would just wish I wasn't human at all, but there **is **only humans here…isn't there?

The house was big, and roses were growing up over the fences. I putted in the key with my hand, trembling. Then I just ran into my house and collapsed on the floor.

I was crying so badly and hiccupped at the same time, so it was hard to breathe. The tears kept streaming down from my face and onto the floor. I was trembling all over my body, remembering all the things I had experienced. It was all things I wanted to forget…

_Look! That's the weird kid, who has no friends! Ha ha, she's different, what's up with her hair!__ And she's so pale; maybe she's got a disease!_

_Yeah, we should better stay away from her, or we'll get infected!_

_Hey, look! She's crying now, how funny. What a cry baby!_

_How come she even dares to be here! This is a place for clever kids, not for an outsider like you!_

"Stop…" I whispered, holding my hands for my ears. I didn't want to remember this and I could feel my stomach crumble together.

_She's __weird; she doesn't even have any parents!_

_We hate you! You__'re stupid, go away!_

"STOP!" I yelled, knocking my hand into the wall. Why wouldn't it stop… these bad memories of mine?

I didn't want to tell others about them. I never had, cause I didn't have anyone who loved me. I didn't have anyone to tell secrets to, to laugh together with; I didn't have anyone.

I continued snuffing even more, and I could feel that my eyes were all red now. It hurt. It hurt so fucking much! Why did this have to happen to me? Why me, out of everyone!

The floor was cold, and the house was all empty. There was no one except for myself here. No… there was someone… someone who would always stay by my side, no matter what. But that person… that thing, never said a word… like me.

My legs were still trembling, but I hurried up to the second floor, through the room filled with bookshelves and opened the door. There it was. The grand piano standing there, with the rays of light shining though the window besides it.

I sat down; not even looking at the sheets, and started playing. I was still crying and snuffing, but I was feeling better now.

This felt so nice. I liked to create something, knowing it could only be exist, if I kept holding it alive. The music, flowing around in my body… that was a wonderful feeling.

I thought about everyone said, that I was incompetent… that I couldn't do anything at all…

I knew, that when I stopped playing, all the bad feeling would come back; and I would have another break down, so I continued playing. I wished I could keep doing this for the rest of my life.

Then I thought about Jasdero and Debitto again. They were the first ones to be really nice with me, like no one had ever been. They weren't bad at all… maybe I could really be friends with them. Maybe… but then again, it sure was just my imaginary. I mean, something like that could never happen to me… because I'm me…

* * *

"Wow, did you see the look on his face!"

"Yeah, he was so mad, that his eyes were almost falling out of his head, hii!"

We had been sent to the office, where the headmaster told us about manners and a lot of boring stuff. Then we had gotten a tissue to wipe away all the orange and green stuff. Man, we had been getting scolded! But the headmaster and the teachers were nothing against the Millennium Earl, we knew for sure. Actually, now we had had our prank, although Yumi had not been helping us; but we had pissed off the teacher, for sure.

We giggled again, but then got serious. We had to find out where Kurayami lived, so we had looked on the secret pupil information sheets to find out. It had been hard without the teachers notifying us, but we had managed it. Now we just had to find her.

She had forgotten her back in class, so we had taken it with us. Then she would sure be happy, and trust us. I was pretty sure that she was the exorcist, cause there was something weird about her, I just couldn't figure out.

After walking quite some time, we saw a big house with a big fence ahead of us. I looked at the documents. Yup, this was it.

Jasdero walked forward, believing that the fence wasn't locked; so he walked directly into it. I giggled. He was so stupid sometimes, that it made me laugh.

He rubbed his head, while trying to get up from the tiled ground. "That hurt, hii!"

I giggled again, but then decided to break the fence with my bare hands.

I tried to hit the fence several times to come in, but it didn't work.

_Stupid fence! Fucking fence!_

I kicked it with my foot, but then regretted. My eyes were almost welling up in tears and my foot crumbling together in pain; but of course I held it in. But it fucking hurt like hell!

Then an idea came.

"Oi, Jasdero." I said, while pointing at the top of the fence. My face was still strained by the pain of the fence.

Then he understood, and we nodded to each other. We began to climb on the fence, and it was going quite fine.

People underneath on the street were whispering to each other and pointing at us. Again, I didn't give a damn about what the stupid humans were thinking.

When we reached the top, there was a lot of sharp shape thingies sitting on the fence.

_Fuck!_ I thought, cause we would have to get through the intervals between them.

Jasdero looked really scared. Now I could understand him; one mistake, and we would get impaled.

Then I got really scared. Jasdero's was losing his foothold on the edge. "Jasdero!" I screamed. He was on his way falling down But he was so close, that I could manage to grab him.

My breathe returned to normal, when I could feel his hand in mine. He was holding it really tight, cause he would break his head if he let go. He would hit the ground very hard. He would…maybe die…

"Jasdero…don't scare me like that, you idiot…" He looked up at me, just to see me turn my head away. I really didn't want to lose him, cause he was the only family I had. Or you can say, the only person I was blood related to; cause there was the other Noah's, and they were also kind of family too.

I tried to pull him even more up, so he could continue by himself. He looked cheerfully at me, and I gave him a worried look.

When coming up to the top, we stood up and got our balance. We were standing between the intervals, but it wouldn't hurt to jump down, I was sure of. Cause we did this on purpose, and we could land safely on the ground because of our abilities; or, that was what I thought…

Then we jumped, all the way down on the tiles.

I shivered. My hole body did; cause I had landed directly on my flat feet.

Again, I was almost crying of the pain.

Jasdero, who had clumsily landed on his ass, was getting up. Soon, I would kill that Kurayami-girl. Why the hell did she have such a fucking fence!

Trying to get a grip on myself, I began walking to the house. Jasdero soon catched up on me, almost tripping on a tile. Why was he always so clumsy? I bit my lip, cause it still hurt, but I didn't want to show it.

I grabbed the handle and pulled it.

Surprisingly, the door just opened. Didn't that girl lock her doors? Well… she didn't really need to, when she had a fence, but however; we walked in. The curtains were keeping the thin daylight outside, so there was dark all over.

Not a sound, not a person. It was all empty.

Where were her parents? Or her siblings; or just a person? Did she live alone, all by herself?

Now I was getting confused, but didn't show it. Jasdero began to walk around in the house, impressed by every single little thing. He walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge. I joined him, placing the school back on the floor.

A lot of food was in there. How much could that girl eat, when she was all alone? We looked in every single box there was, and finally found something. Now I could feel my hunger.

Jasdero took some cookies from a box, and cheerfully ate them. I did too. Now, the kitchen looked like crap, because of us; but we didn't even consider the thought of cleaning it.

While munching the cookies, I thought I could hear something. Was it… music?

Jasdero had heard it too, cause his head immediately peered up, from the box of cookies.

I walked in the direction to, where the sound was coming from. I had almost forgot, that we were searching for Kurayami, because of the cookies. However, we walked further; trying to hear the faint sound again.

It was coming from upstairs, so we went up the stairs. In the room we were in now, there were nothing but bookshelves at every wall. But we could clearly hear the sound of the music from the room, the next door lead to.

Jasdero opened it, and peered in with a curious look. I tried to look over his head, my eyes immediately widening, and Jasdero's too.

* * *

I felt so wonderful. When I was playing, I really felt alive and not ignored. Still, it felt like I was good at something, and that I could actually create something good. I was still having a few tears in my eyes, but I didn't care.

I thought I heard a faint creaking sound from a door being opened, but I didn't really think about it. I just kept playing.

Then some footsteps could be heard, slowly on its way toward me. My fingers were quickly pressing the keys of the black grand piano. But then I suddenly stopped, when I could feel a warm hand on my shoulder. My eyes widened, while turning around.

"You're amazing, hii!" Jasdero exclaimed with a beaming smile right up in my face. Debitto was standing besides his brother, giving me an annoyed look. Then he started.

"Look, we're sorry for not listening to you and for embarrassing you in class…" He was apparently trying to apologize to me, though his face was just showing an annoyed expression.

"You're crying… can you forgive us, hii?" Jasdero asked sadly.

My eyes narrowed at Debitto, who was actually looking almost sympathetic. Maybe he wasn't so bad.

I slowly nodded with a shy expression.

"Yay!" Jasdero exclaimed, hugging me tight; while I was still sitting on the piano chair.

I could feel my stomach aching. That was weird. I only got this feeling once in a while, when something good actually happened. Maybe this was good. He was very warm, and I got the feeling that I had been hugged like this before. But… no, that was a long time ago…

Jasdero arms were still wrapped around me, and then I just couldn't resist; so I hugged him back. That had obviously surprised him, cause I could hear his breathe changing its rhythm.

Then he loosened his grip on me, and looked me in the eyes and smiled with his big stitchy smile.

_Cute… no, no, no! Stop thinking that!_ I shook my head at the thoughts.

Then an awful sound broke the whole mood.

Grooowwwlll!

The sound was coming from Debitto. Jasdero and I looked at him.

"What!" he said. "I'm fucking hungry, so get me something to eat!"

I sighed, and walked out of the door. They didn't really understand at first, but then followed me. I walked down to the kitchen, and then glared at it with my open mouth.

"Oops…" Jasdero said.

I looked at them. "Who did this?" I asked, and they both pointed at each other.

I sighed again.

* * *

We were sitting down at the little table, finished with eating our food. She was a good cook, Yumi; and good at cleaning up after us. She didn't even ask us to help her; maybe she didn't trust us with the cleaning thing. She still was a little red in her eyes, after all the crying.

She was still sitting silently and eating her eggs.

"So…" Debi suddenly said. "You live all alone here, or what?"

She paused, lying her fork and knife down on her plate.

"Yes." She quietly answered.

"But where's your parents?" I asked, curious.

"They past away a long time ago."

"Wow… but how do you get money to live in a place like this?"

"I work on a part time job out in the city." She said, a little bit louder than before.

"Okay…"

She continued with the rest of her eggs. Her hair was still hiding her face, but I had seen it sat up once in gym. It had been in a ponytail, very pretty. She was pretty, and nice too. But she was a human, and maybe an exorcist. And if she was an exorcist, we would have to kill her. Then I didn't cared for, how nice she was. I hate exorcists, I hate humans and I hate Innocence; and Debi does too.

Then she spoke suddenly. "How did you two even get in here? The fence is locked."

Now she looked a little interested. But I could see Debitto was losing his temper again.

"Don't… ask…" he said, sending her a death glare.

She looked surprised at first, but then smiled. A true smile; something I hadn't seen her do before. She actually looked really happy now, so I smiled again.

* * *

"So… how's your new school going, Jasdevi?" Tyki was looking at us, grinning. His curly hair was loose, and not sat up like it mostly was.

Debitto glared at him. "Fine." He snorted.

Tyki giggled again. "Got a girlfriend, perhaps?" We both froze.

"She's not our girlfriend!" we yelled right into his face.

He ignored our yelling and giggled again; but then got serious.

"You know, you have a mission to complete, right? Don't forget that, or you'll get scolded by the Earl." While smoking his cigarette, he sat back down in the chair.

"We are not forgetting our mission, stupid! And we think we found an exorcist; we just need to get close to her."

"Fine, fine. Geez, you need to do something with your temper, Debitto."

"Aw, shut up, you asshole!" Debitto angrily answered back.

"And your language too, you know." Debitto gave him a death glare.

I then decided to ask something. "Can we soon get our guns back, hii?"

"Nope. Not before you're sure about the exorcist. Then you can get your guns back and kill her."

"Buuut, Jasdevi want them nooow~" I whined at him.

"Yeah, give our guns back, Tyki-**pooon**." Debitto said, laying weight on the –pon thing.

"Ugh, you know I hate that name; and no, you don't get your guns back, until the mission is completed."

"Damn." Debitto muttered.

"Jasdeeev~i." Road said, almost singing our name, while dancing into the room.

"What!" Debitto snapped at her.

She showed us something in her hand, from behind her back. Our guns!

She stuck her tongue at us, smiling devilish. She really **was** a little devil, and so annoying! She's always trying to cut my hair, when I'm sleeping. She just won't leave me alone!

"Hey! Gimme them!"

"Nope."

"They're our guns, hii!"

She danced around, trying to harm us. She really liked to annoy us in any way possible. We tried to get them out of her hands, but she made us run into the wall.

Tyki teared us apart, when we began to try hit her. "Please, no fighting here. You already know the rules, and besides; Milennium Earl will get mad at me, if I let you destroy anything in the ark."

Road grinned at Debitto, and he glared at her again. "Debitto got a girlfriend, Debitto got a girlfriend!" She teased again. "Oh, shut it, you little bitch!"

She then looked at me. "Jasdero got a girlfriend, Jasdero got a—"

"No, I don't have, hii!" I tried to yell back at her.

"Please, stop now, you morons!" Now Tyki was losing his temper.

Road then danced teasily out of the door, while singing. "Under the bridge of white~"

_Hii! She's annoying! I don't have a girlfriend!_

Then, we walked out of the door, on our way to our room. There, no one could annoy us; and especially not Road. Tyki didn't even look at us, when we walked out. He was really pissed.

While walking, I thought about something; and I was sure that Debi was thinking the same. Cause if we could get our guns back, we would have to complete the mission. And to complete the mission, we would have to kill the exorcist; so we would have to find her. Now I was almost getting excited by thinking about killing someone; and especially an exorcist. This was gonna be so much fun!

We both looked at each other, thinking the same. Then we grinned, and walked into our room; waiting for the next day to come. One day closer, to kill an exorcist.

**

* * *

**

Yay! Chapter two finished.

**I'm thinking about taking Tsukikkage234's idea into the next chapter, but I will also be happy if you come up with more ideas. And I know, that Yumi-chan is kinda changing her personality once in a while, but that's because she's so troubled with herself.**


	3. Learning to Fear

**Yo everyone! Like I said last time, I had decided to take in an idea, so this is pretty much it. It was actually very hard to write this, because I just had no idea at, how to make the plot into a chapter. I spend a lot of time, thinking about what could be the worst death ever possible. Yeah, I know I sound like a murder or something.**** Well, please enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as last time.**

* * *

Usual routine:

Wake up from sleep.

Take a bath.

Brush my teethes.

Get dressed

Eat breakfast.

(Knock knock)

_Open the door. _

_Wait…that's not on my usual routine list…?_

While taking on some pants I went on my way down the stairs. In my mouth I still had a piece of bread from my breakfast. I was munching it, while it kept knocking the door.

"Get the fuck out, or we'll kick in the door!"

"Kick in the door, hii!"

Debitto and Jasdero…it couldn't be any others. What the hell were they doing here on my day off!

"I'll count to three, or else I'll smash the door!"

_Hurry, hurry, hurry! _

I knew he was serious with smashing the door. And if he did, I would have to pay for the damages.

"One!"

_No, no, no!_

"Two!"

I opened the door, and there he stood, grinning. He's brother was standing beside him, and he had a weird light bulb on his head. They were wearing their usual outfits, so the only thing changed, was obviously the light bulb.

I was still breathing hard, cause I hadn't been running down the stairs in a long time. I was still having the bread in my mouth, and my hair was wet by the bath.

Then they just walked past me, and into the house. I closed the door, looking back at them. "It's weekend, you know. There isn't school today."

"We know…" Debitto looked around. "Give us some breakfast."

My eyes widened. They were just so… rude. They just walked in, without even thinking about manners. I wondered what their parents were like. Cause if it was their fault, they were like this, then how had they brought them up?

"Breakfast, hii."

I sighed. It wouldn't even help, if I asked them to go away. "Eggs or bread? Or both?"

Debitto looked thoughtfully, opposite to Jasdero, who was looking out of the window. "Both. And some cookies too."

"You can't eat cookies to breakfast. That's unhealthy. And besides; I don't have any cookies left from the last time you were here."

"Fine… then just some eggs and bread." He said, apparently annoyed.

Walking into the kitchen, they followed me. I looked into the fridge, and took the necessary things out, and then began cooking.

They both sat down on the table, and I could feel that they were watching me. Every move, I made. Every time, I did something new with my hand or so, they were watching me. It was also like that in school, and it was still creeping me out.

After some time, it was all ready, and I placed it gently on the table and sat down. Immediately, they started eating, like it was the last food, they would ever taste in their life.

I wasn't eating anything, cause I already had gotten my breakfast. Then, Jasdero looked at me. "We're going to have fun today, hii."

_Fun…?_

"What kind of fun?" I asked, getting a little nervous.

Debitto spoke this time. "We're going out and you're coming with us."

I was speechless. Had they just decided for me, what to do today? Again, how had their parents brought them up? And with "going out", what had he meant?

"We're going to the city centre, hii."

"When have you two decided that?"

"Today."

So that was why, they had come here again. But wait…how **had **they even come in here in first place? The fence was locked, and I still hadn't found out, how they came in here last time. It was impossible to break the fence, I knew; so how come, they could keep coming here?

I then decided to respond to that. "And what if I don't want to. What if I want to spend my day off here, by myself?"

"We know you don't want to be by yourself all the time, cause you're lonely. "

They had just read my thoughts. That was impossible! How the hell could **they **know, that I didn't want to be alone?

Without realizing it, I was staring at them. And my mouth was open. Debitto looked at Jasdero and they giggled, and then looked at me.

"So, after breakfast we're going. And if you keep resisting, we'll just force you."

"Fine, I'll go. But I'm not going to pay for any of the things you want."

"Damn."

"Will you then give us dinner in Burger King, hii?"

_Why is he always being so damn cute? Ugh, I just can't take that face he's making!_

"Maybe…" I said, my eyes twitching.

"Well, that's good enough for me. Then, shall we go?" Debitto stood up and looked at me with an impatient expression. Jasdero ate the last food from the plate and joined his brother.

"Just let me quickly get my stuff, and I'll be back, okay?" I didn't even let them answer that, before I hurried upstairs again. I would also just change my clothes to something more suitable for going out.

* * *

We saw Yumi running up the stairs at last, and then looked at each other. "Jasdero, you know what to do."

"Hii." He nodded, and we started looking around the house. Last time, we had only looked in the kitchen, so we were still missing a lot of places in this enormous house. If she was an exorcist, she had maybe been contacted by the order, but it was not for sure. So we would have to search around for a sign, maybe some paper stuff or exorcist weapons and clothes.

We lifted a lot of furniture and looked in every place. Of course, we sat it all back again, so she wouldn't notice that something had been removed.

"Damn! There's nothing in here that could just look like stuff of an exorcist."

"Maybe she isn't an exorcist, hii."

"But she **has **to be! I mean, just look at her. Can't you see anything different about her? The vibrations from her remind me of a fucking exorcist, so she **has **to be one!"

Jasdero looked through a lot of paper again, and threw them down on the floor. Then I could hear the sound of Yumi's shoes walking down.

"Shit, get the papers away, before she sees it!" I hissed at my brother, and he clumsily pulled it back down in a drawer. We then got a hold on ourselves, and looked like nothing had happened.

Yumi came back down with a little bag in her hand. She was wearing a pair of black trousers with some chains coming down from a pocket. She was also wearing a black hoodie with a skull on it. And her shoes were tight, with some zippers on it.

"Cool clothes. Now, let's go." I immediately took her in the arm and pulled her out of the house. She was almost tripping and falling from my grasp. I let go of her, when we were outside, and she locked the door. Looking back at us again with a nervous face, we went down the street, through the fucking fence. I still had a personal hatred of that stupid thing, cause I still had pain in my foot from the last time we were there.

* * *

While walking, I was thinking about Yumi's piano. She had been so good at playing on it and was pretty good. But she **was** a human, so actually, I shouldn't be thinking about humans being good at anything. Cause they **are** just stupid and I hate them. Well, outright I don't hate Yumi now, but if she's the exorcist…

"Oi, Jasdero, watch it!"

I didn't even have time to do anything, before I went into a lamppost. "Ugh! That hurt, hii!" I rubbed my head and Debi helped my up from the ground. "What the hell were you thinking about? If you don't begin paying attention to where you walk, you'll soon end up being brain damaged."

"Sorry, hii." I said and looked at Yumi, who was walking ahead of us. I could then hear a faint sound coming from her. She was giggling!

"Found that funny, huh? Well, what about this!" Debitto ran over and tried to tickle her. She then began giggling even more and was holding her stomach, trying to keep him away from the tickle spots.

"N-No…ha ha ha…stop! It tickles!"

It was the first time I had hear or seen her laugh or anything. She **had **been smiling, but that was not the same. I then joined them and tried to tickle her too, but it just ended up with them trying to tickle me. I was also laughing very loud and ended up on the ground looking up at them, and them looking down on me.

People on the street were staring at us, like we were crazy or something. They tried to walk in a big circle around us, while narrowing.

Getting up, we began walking further on our way to the city. I had begun looking out for more dangerous lampposts, so there wouldn't be several accidents. But I was also looking at Yumi, who wasn't speaking again. She looked down, like she was thinking about something, and then she bit her lip. When I then looked forward, I could see lights and lampposts and shops.

The city was big and there were people everywhere. There were **humans** everywhere. Small children walking with their families, people with dogs, and a little girl crying because of her mother disappearance.

And then…a group of boys around our age, maybe a little older. They were sitting on some curbs on the ground, smoking and laughing. But then they stopped.

They looked at us, and then at Yumi. After whispering something to each other, they began walking in our direction.

Yumi's hand was stretched and her fingernails were drilled into it. Her eyes kept narrowing at the boys, who were coming even closer.

Debitto glanced at them and then at Yumi. We nodded to each other, sure of what to do.

I took Yumi's hand and we started walking in the opposite direction. She was surprised by my move, but squeezed my hand tight. She was really scared, but her hand was extremely cold; opposites to mine, which was warm.

Debitto glared back at the guys, who had stopped following us and instead sat down on a bench. I looked back too. One guy threw a cigarette down on the sidewalk under him and crushed it with his foot, while glaring back at us. His pitch black hair was hiding most of his face, but the reason why you really noticed him, was because of the lime green tufts of hair, sticking right up from his head. He was really a gangster; and his friends too. Some of them also had piercings.

We turned our heads away from them and continued into a shopping centre. It was really big, and I mean **really big**, cause you couldn't even see the ceiling.

Debitto grinned at Yumi. "Ready to have some fun?"

She looked at him with a concerned expression. But she then nodded slowly, while looking down. I let go of her hand and we walked up on an escalator.

* * *

I wasn't really feeling good now. The boys from outside had been staring and following us, and they were not like very trustworthy. But it wasn't a good time to think about that, cause we had come here in first place just to have fun. But when Jasdero's hand had lost its grasp, I had felt scared again. Actually, I would have liked, if he had kept holding it; but I couldn't say that to him, cause that was embarrassing.

When we had come up on the second floor, we could see hundreds of shops. It would be hard to just to find out where to begin. Shopping wasn't really my thing, cause I would usually just buy books and maybe some CD's. But I would have to stand it, while I was with these two.

Debitto looked around. "Okay, let's walk into the tattoo store."

My eyes widened. "What!"

"Just kidding. Let's start with, well…what about the music store?"

My breathe returned to normal. A second ago, I had thought, that he had really meant it. I nodded a little bit shy and he took my arm and pulled me into the shop.

Jasdero quickly catched up on us, and made sure he didn't run into anything more. He smiled at me, but I turned my head around. I wasn't really in the mood for this now.

Debitto stopped, when we were into the shop. He then looked me right in the eyes, and touched my shoulder. "Forget them."

I didn't really understand, but he continued. "We're here to make you happy, so you have to be fucking happy then. So, just forget about them. I mean, if they try to do anything, we'll just kick their asses." He wasn't grinning or laughing. He was damn serious, but his hand was cold. Not like Jasdero's warm hand. And...they had taken me here to make me happy...?

I was getting that weird feeling in my stomach again. I didn't really like it, cause it wasn't a nice feeling. It was a feeling I had only been having in my life a long time ago. But now, I had started having it again. Was it...because of them...?

"So... get a fucking smile on your face and be damn happy, or I'll... um, well... do something to you, which hurts!"

"We'll hurt you, hii!"

This time, they were glaring at me, but now I actually felt more safe. I smiled, but it was kind of a fake smile. Cause I was still having a weird feeling, that I would soon regret for coming here with them. I had a weird feeling, about that I would lose them sometime, or that they would leave me. That they would ignore me, like the rest of my class...

* * *

"Phew, I'm totally worn out!" Debitto exclamed, sounding exhausted. We sat down on a bench outside on the ceiling of the big shopping centre. The weather had begun to change. It had been a cloud free day in the morning, but now it looked like it would rain soon.

I sat down beside him, placing all the shopping bags on the ground under me. They had actually bought all of their stuff themselves, but had made me carry them. I, myself, hadn't really bought anything, cause I thought, that I had to save my money for the house bills. I had only been giving them dinner on Burger King as I promised; and that had actually also caused, that I didn't have any money back.

I was sitting in the middle of the bench, with them on each side of me. But they were both looking in a certain direction, like they were watching something. But there were no people here; they had all walked home, because of the weather.

"So, um…when are we going home?"

Debitto snapped out of it. "I don't know. Maybe when we get some ice cream…?"

"I don't have any money left."

"Oh… then you can just give us some tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? You mean, we're going to be together again tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I was expecting that."

I turned my head away from him. "I can't be together tomorrow. Cause my part time job is on Sundays."

"Well, then we'll just have to be together with you on the part time job."

Why did he just keep taking this up? I just couldn't understand why they would keep being together with me. Maybe it was because… we were friends…? But were friends really together **that **much? Okay, now I was getting a headache, by all the questions. There would just have to be some reason about them being so much close to me. It was not like I was funny, or nice to be together with. But they seemed like they liked me in some kind of way. It was weird, and it was giving me an even bigger headache, just by thinking about it.

I looked at Debitto to answer back, but he was looking in the same direction as before. And Jasdero too.

_What are they looking at!_

I tried to get my head in the same direction as them, and I shivered. There was figure standing under a parasol in the near. Then another person came next to him. Then another one. There were three persons.

My heart immediately began beating fast and I could feel the fear coming. It was the boys from down on the ground. And they were looking at us.

I swallowed and I could feel my stomach tighten.

"Well, hello again. Or am I wrong, cause aren't you the ones from down there?" The one, who was apparently the leader, took a step forward and pointed down on the ground under the shopping centre. He was the one with the black and green hair.

"Hey look! That's the hot chick, who was with them." A person from behind spoke to him. This person had red hair, obviously dyed.

"Oh, yeah, that's her. Hey you! Come over here with us." He looked at me, making eye contact "and have some fun…" he grinned in a very unpleasant way.

I got chills all over my body and I felt like I was going to throw up. Debitto stood up. "Hey, you stay away from her, you fucking bastard!"

"So, really?" he said in a sarcastic tone. "And then what will you do?"

"Finish you off, you—"

Jasdero pulled his sleeve and whispered something to him. He looked annoyed by it and gritted his teethes at the gang of boys. "Oh, he has a girlfriend already! Hey Blondie, you're going to do something to us too?"

Jasdero's eyes made a little twitch, and he bit his lip.

"He's my brother, you fucking human!" Debitto stepped closer to the guy. "So don't you dare say anything to him, or I'll—"

The guy suddenly made a quick move, and the next moment, he was holding him up by his shirt. Debitto was actually lifted up, by his grasp. My eyes widened and I really wanted to do something, but didn't know what.

Jasdero then made the first move and tried to hit the black green haired leader. But the guy moved a little to the right and made him miss it. Another guy with purple dyed hair then kicked Jasdero in the stomach and he fell to the ground. The guy's foot then held him down, making it impossible for him to move. I could see that Jasdero was having trouble breathing, cause he made a stunning sound. I felt really sorry and bad for him.

Debitto was still held up in the air. "Let go, you asshole!"

"Well, if that's what you want..." the leader said, and then smacked his head into the table under the parasol.

"Ugh, you'll regret you did this, you fucking human!"

"I don't think so."

"Aaargghh!" Debitto screeched, when his hands had been twisted on his back. The guy then let go and Debitto fell to the ground.

"Hey sweety, mind if you come with us?"

I walked backwards and then felt that there wasn't anything behind me, except for a thin little fence. I looked down and shivered. We were so high up, that I could have passed out, just by the look of it. But the leader kept walking closer.

He lifted up my chin, while coming even closer.

"Keep away from her!" Debitto came from behind. His head was bleeding and his legs were trembling from the pain.

The leader walked away from me. "You again! You want to save your girlfriend, huh!" Again, he grabbed him by his shirt. "Well, too bad you don't get the time for that. If you had just shut up before, I wouldn't have to do this; but you leave me no choice, you little asscracker!"

The leader nodded at the purple haired holding Jasdero, and they shoved him over. "Hii!" he screeched, before getting stocked in the leader grasp.

Then my eyes widened and I was trembling all over my body.

He was going to push them down from the building!

"No, don't—! "The redhead from behind was holding me back, his hand over my mouth. I tried to hit him and shove his hands away, but he was too strong. I couldn't move and continued kicking, but it didn't work just a little bit. They would die, if they were pushed down from the building, and I wanted to save them.

Debitto tried to make a smart move, but the leader was just shoving them closer to the fence.

Jasdero was looking at me with pleading eyes, and I tried to push the guy away even harder.

But it was too late.

I could see the leader pushing them both into the little fence. It was creaking loudly and then broke apart. They were both on their way down, without the any opportunities to get a foothold. There was nothing but air, and I could see their eyes screaming, before they were out of sight. The last thing I saw, was Jasdero's long blond hair disappearing together with him and Debitto.

I couldn't scream because of the redhead, so I bit his hand as hard as I could manage.

"Aaagh! Fucking shit, she bit me!" He yelled, immediately letting go of me, holding his damaged hand tight with the other.

I was speechless at first, but then felt my concern for them ached. "Jasdero! Debitto!"

My voice sounded like a broken record amd I could feel the tears streaming down from my face.

It began to rain. First two drops, and then pouring down from the sky. Now I couldn't feel if it was tears or rain there was on my face; but I knew that I would never see them again. They were dead. The only friends I'd ever had were dead, and I hadn't done anything about it. I was the guilty one… I was the one who should have been dead, instead of them.

**

* * *

**

Okay, I admit it; this was a cliff-hanger. But next time you'll see if they really survive or not, so please review, and I that will make me a happy author and then it will come up faster. And if you don't review, there will not be a chapter four, muahaha! Okay, I'm being a really evil author right now.


	4. Learning to Live

**Yay, chapter four! I actually decided to put it in so fast, because of Tsukikkage234. We had made a deal, that she would update, if I updated. And since she updated so fast, I was getting pretty busy. But I like being busy, cause then I'm not bored...**

**Just to say something more, I would be very happy if you read and reviewed my other story, "Snowmen", and it's pretty hard to find it on fanfiction. I don't know why, but it just won't come up unless you look into the catagories anime/manga-Jasdevi- Completed stories and so on...**

**Disclaimer: Well... same as usual. Unfortunetly, I don't own it. And if I did, I would have made Chaoji die, cause I don't like him. He's annoying...**

* * *

"Jasdero! Debitto!"

My voice sounded like a broken record.

But I knew they wouldn't answer. They were dead, so what could I do?

But I still wanted them to suddenly come from behind and tickle me in that friendly way they used to. But all the things we had experienced together… they were just memories now, I knew.

I could hear the gang talk, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I could only hear my own thought and regrets. And of course, the scream inside me.

I felt like throwing up, but instead I fell down on my knees.

My head was looking up in nothing but a grey sky. I could feel my long hair sticking to my face; because of how wet it was by the rain.

Now, I would have nothing to live for. Now, I didn't have any friends again.

A thought more…

Suicide…

How stupid of me, to think I could ever live a happy life. Why had I been so naïve, thinking that **they** would keep me alive? That **they** would love me, like nobody else had ever done.

Life hurts like hell. That's for sure, and that's why I hated it. I hated the way life was going, so why should I even live, just to feel the pain?

Footsteps… they were coming closer.

A voice…

More voices…

The scream inside me, and the regrets…

**I** should have been the dead one. The one, who had fallen down from the building. Not them.

They had not deserved it. They had not deserved to be thrown down from a building, because of me.

"Hey, cutie. Wanna do something together with me?"

He came closer.

But suddenly… I could feel something. I could feel something burn inside me, like fire.

I wanted to have them back, but the one who killed them…

"It's you…"

He looked confused for a moment. The leader, with the green and black hair. "Huh?"

"It's you!" I stood up, and walked toward him.

I then took him by his shirt. "You killed them! You killed them, you fucking idiot."

I really couldn't control anything inside me now. I just wanted to have them back, and I couldn't. So I just wanted him to feel the same pain as me. I wanted him to regret too… to regret that he killed them.

"Hey, bitchy! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

I could feel someone grabbing me from behind, but I was still looking the leader in the eyes. I madly turned around, and made him lose his grasp. The redhead still had the bite marks on his hand, and I think that made him fear me.

Then I could feel a hand around my waist and a head on my shoulder. "I love stubborn girls. I think that makes you even hotter, and that makes me want to do things to you."

I could feel myself getting scared now. I hated fear, but what could I do about this? He was so strong, and I was just a normal human girl. But I was getting raped, and that made me scared. I didn't want to get raped. I had heard of so many teenage girls being out for that, and then getting killed by the person. Would I just end up like one of them?

But then again…

Maybe I should just go to hell and die… because I deserved it…

Then I thought about Jasdero and Debitto again, and that made the fire burn again inside me. So I finally shook his hands off me and made him lose his grasp.

Then it just happened. The words I was thinking kept coming out of my mouth. "You killed my best friends! You killed the only ones, who made my life worth to live!"

"So what? They were just a couple of idiots, so they deserved to—"

I hit him right in the face with my hand.

It felt good, to see him back away and have his hand on his chin. I wanted to do it again, but it also made me tremble.

The two other gang members with piercings and dyed hair kicked me to the ground, and made me collapse. I trembled again.

The leader spoke. "Hey, don't kick her! Like I said… I like stubborn girls…"

"Ah, man! Can't you just leave her? I mean, she's just a stupid little brat!"

"But I'm just starting to have fun!"

"Geez, fine… but let's just get the hell out of here, when the police comes. They are sure going to find the dead bodies down there on the street."

"Yeah, yeah… just shut up now!"

The dead bodies… the thought made me sick. Wanted to throw up again.

A hand around my stomach.

I could feel it, but my body wouldn't move.

But there were still the words, I quietly whispered. "You killed my only friends, and you called them idiots…"

"Yeah, so what?"

I paused for a moment, but then continued. "You don't understand, because you **have** friends… and even **you** have a reason to live…"

I wasn't looking at him, but just staring out in nothing. I didn't have any reasons to live, so I could also just throw myself out from there too. I could fall down from the building. I could make suicide…

Suicide was good. When I was little, I had always tried to do it every time I came home from school. I wanted to get the pain away, but couldn't do it when I wanted to. I wasn't strong enough to kill myself, because I was afraid. But I continued on, although it never worked. I stopped the knife from reaching my chest, when it was almost there. Why could I never do anything to kill myself? Maybe because I thought something good would maybe happen the next day… although it never did.

I could feel him begin to pull up in my shirt, but he stopped.

My body was trembling, beause I was afraid what he was thinking now.

Why had he stopped?

I couldn't do anything. I was just lying there on the ground, helpless.

"You…" he spoke. "You're dead…"

A weird feeling in my stomach. Was it joy? But it could also just be a dream…

Yeah… it would have to be a dream, because something like that could never…

"You're fucking dead!"

Two persons… I could hear that on the footsteps. Two persons were coming closer…

My body felt so weird and sick, and I still wanted to throw up. My eyes felt heavy, and all the things looked like one big blur.

But the leader was not beside me anymore, and neither were the others. They stood up.

Still, I couldn't stand anything right now.

"It's impossible… you're fucking dead!"

"You're the one…"

"Who's dead now…"

"Fucking naïve human!"

Gunshots. Three of them. To each of the gang members.

I could feel my eyes get even more heavy, and the only thing I could see, was three bodies falling down to the ground.

* * *

Now, she would surely trust us. Now, she would really be easy to get friends with. Now, she would even love us.

"Jasdero…"

He looked at me, and then nodded.

We both fired the bomb and the bodies burned up in flames. This was so much fun; to kill someone. It gave you a feeling of joy and made you want to continue on in eternity. To kill is fun; especially when it's humans.

"So stupid and weak…"

"They are so annoying, hii."

I looked back at Ayumi. She was still lying on the ground. What was she doing?

"She's awake, hii."

My head immediately turned around, and I looked at Jasdero with shocked eyes. "S-She's awake…? She has seen it all?"

"No, she wasn't looking, hii."

I could feel my breath return to normal. If she had seen us use our guns, we would have to kill her. Well, we were planning on killing her anyway, so why not now?

I loved the feeling to hold my gun into my hand. Stupid Tyki… to think we wouldn't try to steal our guns back from Road.

Jasdero suddenly walked over to Ayumi. He laid a hand on her shoulder and spoke. "You're okay?"

She made a weird sound, and I couldn't hear what it was, until I came closer. She wasn't unconscious.

She was crying. I could see it in her eyes, as she looked at us. Then her mouth trembled and she began to bawl like a little girl. And then hiccupped and sobbed.

"Hey, take it easy! There's nothing to be sad about. We're alive, so stop crying…"

Her wet hair was sticking to her face, and she looked like shit, because of her condition. But then she made a surprising move.

She stood up and then ran into my arms. She was bawling even louder than before, and I didn't know what to do. I therefore looked at Jasdero, but he obviously didn't know what to do neither. He just shrugged.

She was a human, and I didn't want any body contacts with something as disgusting as them. But I held my feelings in and slowly placed my arms around her back.

It had really surprised me, that she had hugged **me**, and not Jasdero. She knew that Jasdero was more into things like that, and that he was friendlier than me. So why was she clinging to **me**, and crying into **my** shirt?

I could feel her warm breath in my chest. She had been really scared. Well, she had almost got raped by some guys, but was that the only reason why she was crying?

"I…" she sniffed. "I thought you were dead… I thought you didn't survive the fall…"

"But we survived, so there's no reason to cry now, okay?"

"But… the gangsters…?"

"They ran away, hii."

"I…" she buried her head into my chest. "I thought you were dead… I thought I was going to die…"

"It's okay… there's nothing to be afraid of now. Just… calm down, okay?"

I swallowed. I would really just like to kill that human now. Wouldn't she just… lose her grasp on me, cause it was really unbelievable how much I hated this.

I pushed her away.

Her eyes blinked a few times, but she then wiped her face in her sleeve.

I could still feel the hole in my head from the attack of the weird guy, but that would soon heal. The other scratches would heal too, and Jasdero's.

Normal humans would maybe find it weird to survive a fall from a high centre building, but for us this was just a little meaningless accident. We were immortal, so why the hell should we die?

I could see that she was trembling. Not from the fear, but she was freezing. I decided to then take off my hoodie, and placed it around her back.

She looked startled for a moment, but then held the jacket close.

Jasdero looked at her. No, he stared, but his eyes were looking right at her, and not in uncertain directions. That was weird… for him.

Was he also feeling the urge to kill? I guessed he was.

I put my hands down in my pockets.

Ayumi looked at me again. "How did you survive?"

I thought for a moment, and looked at Jasdero to find out a reason. "We landed on the platform down there. At the window, we reached some… thingie,s and managed to crawl up."

Okay… that sounded pretty ridiculous, but was she going to believe us? Well, it was the only thing I could think of. I couldn't have told her the truth. That we survived the fall to the ground, because we were Noahs…

But her head turned to the ground once again, and she didn't ask any further.

There wasn't any platform. Even **she** would know that, so why wasn't she asking?

I could still see a little smoke, rising from the burned place of the fucking humans. And under the smoke, the corpses were peering up. Burned, and never going to wake again.

I grinned to myself, under my dark hair. I smiled sickly, as I walked behind Ayumi. They were dead, and they deserved that. They were just a bunch of humans, so they would have to die.

Then the killing feeling came again.

Jasdero looked at me, but I was holding a hand before my face to hide the grin.

I wanted to do it again. I wanted to kill someone again.

The next time as Jasdevi.

* * *

"Aaa—"

I looked at Jasdero with eyes wide. Ayumi immediately placed the plate on the table ahead of her, and we both held our hands for our ears.

"Aaaa-"

I closed my eyes, hoping to not get a headache, when it came.

Ayumi also looked forced out, when we waited for it.

Then it came.

"Aaaathuuuhh!"

Jasdero sniffed and then took the rag to his nose and blew.

Funny. I hadn't got a cold, and I didn't even have on a jacket. But Jasdero had.

Ayumi took her hands off her ears again, and handed him the cup of warm cocoa. He cheerfully drank it.

Ayumi was not wearing my piece of clothes now, but had placed it on the chair, and I was planning on burning it after this. Maybe a little too far, but I had lots of these.

The little room looked kind of nice, with the fire place ahead of us. She was good at taking care of us. But of course, that wouldn't mean anything to us when we had killed her.

"You sure you don't want any?" she asked.

I shook my head, and dried my hair once again with a towel. I hadn't even changed my wet clothes. Well, you can call it laziness. Jasdero didn't have, neither. But we had got some bandages on our legs and heads. Not because **we** wanted to, but because she was afraid that the scratches would get deeper and blah, blah, blah.

Yumi had been in bath. She was wearing her pyjamas, and was also drinking warm cocoa together with Jasdero.

"Yumi?"

She looked at me.

"You were scared, right? But why didn't you try to… I don't know; give the gangster thingies a kick in the ass or something?"

She sadly looked down on her legs. "I… I tried to hit him, but I was pushed to the ground, and… I was planning on… making suicide, until you came back."

Jasdero suddenly yelled up. "Suicide, hii!"

"Yeah, I thought it would be a good idea to just… get the pain away…"

I then interrupted. "But suicide is ridiculous! Why the hell should you kill yourself, just to get the pain away? The pain is what makes the life worth living!"

She looked startled.

"If life was just happy all the time, then there wasn't any pain. But the truth is that pain makes the life happy. Pain makes the life give you a meaning of living! Happiness can't exist without pain, so then just take the fucking pain!"

Okay… that was maybe a little harsh. But she looked better than before now. She looked like she understood me. Weird, why the hell had I just yelled that out loud? I couldn't even feel any pain, so why had I said that?

Oh, that's right… I heard it from Tyki once a time. Weird… why had I told someone else something, I had heard from Tyki?

Jasdero hugged her. Her eyes widened for a moment, but then returned to normal.

"Don't' kill yourself, please… hii…"

She pressed herself into him, and began crying.

I crossed my arms. How could he just hug her like that?

"Why are you crying again? It's not like your unhappy now."

She looked at me with pinkish eyes from the tears, and wiped them away. "It's because I'm happy. It's tears of happiness…"

I glared at her. "Happiness tears? I haven't heard anything as ridiculous as that. Why would you cry, because you're happy? That doesn't make sense at all."

She looked confused. "You have never cried before, because you were happy?"

"No. Why the hell should I do that?"

The thing in her eyes… was it sadness again…? No, it looked more like sympathy… but why would she have sympathy for us?

_Augh! This makes my head hurt! Why __do humans cry because they are happy?_

"I have never cried because of happiness too, hii."

He had stopped the hug, and was looking sheepishly at her.

"Wh… you have never cried because of happiness , in your life?"

"No, hii. Dero is not sad, cause I have Debi."

I glared at him, and he grinned at me.

Why the heck was he leaving some crap like that, out of his mouth? Man, he was good at acting…

Ayumi smiled at us. And that made me want to lift up the mood. I don't know why, but I just wanted to change the subject to something else… than Jasdero's weird sentence…

Then I saw something on a shelf. It looked funny. It was the same as the Earl used, when making "memories" together with the whole family.

"You know…"

Yumi looked at me.

"I was thinking…"

I pointed at the shelf to the wall. "That camera… I wanna try it."

Then I just walked over and took it. It was like a really old one, with the pictures coming out right after you have pressed the button.

Jasdero stalled the cup back on the plate and joined me.

I looked at him for a moment. His eyes blinked in confusion. Again, he looked so funny, that it made me want to laugh.

Then I just placed the camera correct in the air, and quickly took a picture of him.

"Hii hii! My eyes!" he screeched as he backed away with hands in front of his face.

"Jasdero, careful!" Ayumi warned him, but it was too late. The plate and the warm cocoa fell down on the floor, and made a big mark on the ground.

There were broken pieces of the cups and the cocoa was now a big brown mass on the floor.

I giggled. He was so funny, and it was always a pleasure to have him around.

"Sorry, hii."

She sighed. "It's okay. I'll just clean it."

I laughed at Jasdero's big mistake, and he grinned back. Ayumi also slowly giggled, and I started to laugh harder.

Then it just turned out with everyone laughing, and I took the change to make a funny photo.

I took Ayumi away from the mess on the floor, and made her stand beside me. She wasn't smiling anymore. Maybe she didn't like photo shoots. She was looking down in embarrassment.

Then I wanted to make her smile, and that made me a little annoyed, cause I wanted to make the photo **now**.

Jasdero took the camera out of my hand, and was ready to take the picture. He had just taken it without my permission. What was he doing? He was not trying to tease me, was he?

I was annoyingly trying to tickle Yumi, and that made her giggle. But it was only now; I had realized that Jasdero was holding his finger on the button of the camera.

"Hey, not now! We're not-"

Blitz.

It hurt in my eyes, and I hit Jasdero in the head, as soon as I could see him clearly. "Hey, I was not ready yet, you idiot!"

He just grinned at me, and that made me more annoyed.

I took the camera away from him, and took a look at the picture. It looked like shit. Jasdero was grinning his big smile, Yumi was holding her stomach of giggling, and I looked really mad beside her. It had just been taken, as I had yelled at Jasdero, so I looked pretty angry.

I madly gave the picture to Yumi, and she looked at it. But she just smiled at it, and placed it on the table.

For a moment, neither of us said anything.

But then I changed my mind. "Well… I think we're going home now… come Jasdero." I took him by his sleeve and he waved at Ayumi as we walked out. Couldn't he just… leave it here?

I was still mad at him. No regrets about that.

She shyly waved back, and we walked out of the door. Time to come over the fence again. Well, I think I was getting better at it. However, we just closed the door.

Tomorrow, we were going to visit her part time job. That was going to be fun… if we could find it…

But then, we could make her trust us even more. I mean, we had just saved her today from getting raped, so she surely considered us as friends now…

* * *

I giggled to myself, as I looked at the picture again. I normally hated to be on pictures, cause I thought I looked ugly on all of them. But in this one, there was something more. Maybe because it was a picture with **them** on.

_Huh? Did I actually __**want **__to be on a picture together with them?_

When putting it back down again, I started to clean up after Jasdero's clumsily accident. He just looked so cute, every time he did something like that.

Well, I was just glad of being home again.

I still had an unpleasant feeling of the memories of the city centre. Would I ever come back to that again? And there were so many questions in my mind. Like: How did they survive the fall, what happened to the scary guys, and… was Debitto lying about it all…?

But why would he lie? It was not like it was embarrassing for him, or that there was anything to be shy about. I knew, he wasn't shy. That was not Debitto-like. But then, what could it be? Why would he just pull out a lie like that?

Then I thought about me hugging him. He had pushed me away, but I could accept that. Although it made me a little sad, but I could take it. But the time I had just seen them, I just wanted to feel them again. To make sure it was** them** and that they were alive. Cause it was still pretty hard to realize the reality in this.

_But then again… they had never cried of happiness before? Neither of them? But it doesn't t make sense at all… they hadn't even heard about it…_

_But it's humane to cry, because you're happy…_

I then decided not to think about that anymore, but something else instead.

Maybe I would never try to make suicide anymore… maybe I could just be happy for the rest of my life…?

Then I came to think about something. Debitto had totally forgotten his jacket.

I looked at it. I was going to give it to him next time, I met them. Right now, I would just relax. So I walked up the stairs and sat at the piano and began playing.

It made me in a good mood again, and I was all gone in it. There were no thoughts in my mind, but my fingers just moved by themselves.

I was actually happy about e everything now. It made me so happy to have friends. Someone, who really liked me for who I was.

No suicide anymore…

I had frends…

I was happy…

A thought again…

_I had actually been more afraid of losing them, than to get raped…_

It felt like eternity, until something broke the whole mood.

Knock knock.

I could feel my heart bump faster.

It came from down the stairs.

I stopped the playing, and stood up.

Who could it be at this time at night? Maybe the twins… but why would they come here again?

Maybe Debitto had realized his jacket missing, and come back for it.

With that thought, I walked down. But why was my hand trembling? Fear, again?

Knock knock.

The sound clang in the air, and was the only thing you could hear.

_Who is it?_

_Debitto?_

_Jasdero?_

I opened it.

To my surprise, it was neither of them. And neither was it some creepy guy. This one… he looked nice…

He was the first one to speak.

"Hello, my name is Allen Walker."

My eyes blinked a few times. His hair was white.

"I'm from the Black Order, and I have come to talk to you."

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**Pleeaasee review, and I will make the next chapter faster:) And one more thing: Thank you for all of those, who are actually reading this. Even the ones, who doesn't review... but I'm just glad that you like my story, the ones who have read this far:)**

**I hope this chapter was as good as you had expected, cause I felt that it turned out a little bad... well, maybe it's just me... and sorry I didn't get anything from Jasdero's point of view, but I will get that in the next chapter.**


	5. Learning to Lie

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait...**

**Disclaimer: Sorry and what a pity... I don't own -Man. But I own my OC characters: Ayumi, the gangsters, and the chief of the bar (you're going to hear about in this chapter)**

* * *

_Exorcists…_

_Those who kill devils, to stop __the world as we know it, from being destroyed…_

_To stop the Millennium Earl… and the Noahs…_

_They live, only to serve the Black Organization. They save people, and akuma…_

"Ayumi-chan! The guests are waiting for orders!"

I quickly snapped out of it, realizing that I was still washing the dishes in my hands. It was wet, and the soap was making shiny bobbles all over them. Too sticky and bobbling...

"I'm coming!" I yelled back to the chief of the little bar.

But the things that boy had told me… I just couldn't get them out of my head. Although it seemed pretty unbelievable, he had looked rather sure in his way of speaking. And then there was also…

I took the little piece of paper up from my pocket, and looked at the pattern. A star with some signs on, in each of the spaces. The pattern of the Black Organization. The organization, where exorcists live. Humans with anti Akuma weapons, designed and fixed by the scientists.

I looked at it over and over again, trying to get it into my mind. That it was true, what he had told me about devils and exorcists. But it just seemed so... acid realistic. Everything; I mean, figting against some weird creatures, that looks like monsters, but aren't.

Allen Walker… he was an exorcist of the Black Order… He had an anti akuma weapon; his left arm, and then a cursed eye, which could see the akumas hiding between the normal people.

I thought about the things he had told me, again…

"_Ayumi__. You have Innocence in your body too, like me. You're capable of becoming an exorcist."_

"_But… I'm just a normal human. I can't defeat devils, nor save any human lives."_

"_Yes you can. If you just get your Innocence into a weapon, it will be available to activate."_

_I looked back down in the table, not really sure about this. Should I really trust someone with white hair, and a cursed eye?_

_He handed me a leaflet. "Take the train to this place, and ask for Komui Lee. He will help you control your Innocence. He can fix it, so it can become a weapon. But if you don't want to, then stay here. I won't force you to become an exorcist, but if you want to, this is the place you should go to." _

I put it back down in my pocket again, and then took out the two orders; I would have to serve for the costumers. If I didn't soon try to forget about all my problematic speculations, I would end up getting crazy.

I was so much into the thoughts again, that I almost tripped on the way out there, but managed to get the balance. Phew… I really didn't want to get fired, cause this was the only thing that kept me to have money to school and house. So I wouldn't lose it, just because something else was in my head…

"One beer and two ice cream-multis with everything. Is that right?"

They nodded, and I walked back to the kitchen again. As I was about to walk through the door, I encountered the chief. He stopped up immediately and looked down on me. I didn't have time to look at his reaction, before I started talking.

"Ah, sorry! I don't know what I—"

He interrupted me. "It's okay, Ayumi-chan!"

To be sure, I bowed a few times in embarrassment.

He just giggled while I bowed, and I looked up at him. His blond, short curly hair was slightly sparkling, because of the light in the little room, and his bright blue eyes were showing a kind expression.

"Sorry, but you don't need to be so formal. It's just a random bar, this place."

"I know," I said. "but I can't live without this job."

He blinked a few times. "Huh? I know that you really like it, but that you can't live without it…"

"No. I'm serious, sir. I really can't live without this job."

I looked him thoughtfully in the eyes. It looked like he had understood, cause he nodded. When chief understood me, it really felt nice. He was good at helping and caring for people. He was a wonderful person, you would really want to get to know.

I was just about to walk past him, when he stopped me again. "Ayumi?"

I blinked in confusion. No –chan in the sentence? That was weird, cause he always called everyone -chan.

"You seem more… confident, than you ever have before. You even talk to the costumers with a smile on your lip." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Is there someone, who caused that?"

A blush spread across my face.

Shocking, cause I didn't expect to blush right now…

"Oh, so it **is**." He giggled. "You can tell me. Is it a boyfriend?"

I blushed even more, and then waved my hands in front of my face. "N-No. It's not a boyfriend." I looked around, frantically. "Umm, I think there are more customers, who need—"

"Doesn't matter. We have lots of bartenders here, and I have time enough. So…" his face came even closer to my red one. "Is it just one boy, who is not your boyfriend, who caused you to become happy?"

Close.

"I-It's actually… two."

He blinked, and then giggled. "Two? You mean there are two who fight for you?"

Not close.

Fight for me? Not really that, I meant…

"N-No. They don't fight for me. They're just friends, and they… they are actually brothers."

"Brothers?"

I then whispered in his ear, as I realized some of the customers were listening to our conversation. "Twins."

He suddenly broke into an unnecessary outburst, and my eyes widened of the shock. "Twins? You mean, you're happy now because of twins?"

All the customers stared at us, like we were crazy. Well, I quite understood them.

My eyes widened even more, as the chef gave me a big bear hug, making it hard to breathe. He rubbed my head, like some kind of big brother.

The costumers turned their heads around, and whispered to each other.

One word… humiliating…

After he let go and gave me a blink with his left eye, I returned to the kitchen. Telling chief about something like that… not a good idea… cause he always overreacted. So much like a big brother.

He was actually a person I really liked. The twins were of course my friends, but I hadn't known them for a long time.

But still… my happiness, he had said. My happiness was caused by them?

I pulled in the shirt, where my chest was. Something still made me feel weird. Now, that I actually had some friends, was I then feeling happy? Could they really change the thing inside me, that died a long time ago?

My hope. My dreams, which had been ruined a long time ago.

Can wounds caused by a person, be healed by another?

Wounds there was so deep, that it hurt everytime you thought about it...

* * *

On my way back home, I looked around. It was still a bad weather, with grey sky and all. My shoes were making loudly sounds, everytime I stepped on the wet places on the ground. It wasn't raining, but it had been earlier, while I was on work.

I sighed. Bad weather always made me sad…

I swung my bag over my shoulder again, so it didn't fall down. The bar lied in the city, so there were lots of people going everywhere.

Lots of people…

I looked out in nothing.

…But I just saw them as…

I looked forward again, and then realized something; the building in front of me.

There were yellow pieces of tape all around the shopping centre. They said "KEEP OUT".

There were also a bunch of people yelling, protesting and trying to get in, while some policemen were pushing them back.

_What the hell has happened here?_

I looked up, and then shivered.

It was the shopping centre, the twins and I had been in. It was where; they had been pushed down from the building.

But they had survived, so why were there policemen?

It was not like there was anyone dead…

A woman then pushed her way in between the others. She was obviously from a newspaper, and was going to interview someone.

The crowd then walked back, when they saw that they couldn't come in, and I could almost see now. It was…

I shivered.

A red haired boy with piercings was lying in a nurse bed, completely wrapped in bandages. He looked mad and was explaining something, I could see on his mouth. Mad movements with his mouth, and explaining with as much of his body, he could. Most of it was totally unmovable, I had understood.

The newspaper woman wrote down, what he was saying.

"And not in hell, if I was going to die together with the others. So I hid behind a table, so they didn't burn me, when they fired that gun, which burst out fire."

The woman kept writing down.

When I took one more glance at him, I recognized him as the gangster leader's friend. The one I had bit in the hand. But he looked different now. He had been burned all over his body, I could see. His hair was also darker, and he looked like he had been close to die.

But how?

"And then there were these two shitty assholes, which killed them!"

I shivered.

"And what did they look like?" the woman asked, while pulling up her glasses.

"They were fucking brothers, I tell you! And there was one, who looked like a girl, with long blond hair, and then one with shitty dark blue hair!"

The gangster looked frantically around. "And then they fucking talked together, ended each others sentence, and then talked on the same time!"

She wrote even more down.

I could do nothing but stare at them with eyes wide and full of fear.

"And dude, I tell you! Their skin was fucking grey! And there were stigmata shitty crosses on their stupid heads!"

The policemen then stopped the boy from telling more, and that caused him to be even more mad than before.

"This is silly. I think we will take this boy to psychiatric ward from now on. Don't even write this in the newspaper." One of them said. "Cause no one will ever believe this. I don't know how the murder took place, but it's for sure that you shall not write this."

The other laughed. "Such an imaginary! Talking together, stigmata and guns with fire. Ridiculous! Like someone would believe in that!"

"Ha ha! Yeah, so…" he looked at the woman. "Write that the two others had been killed by gunshots, and this one broke his head. Or else, I don't think your newspaper will get a good reputation."

The woman nodded, and the policemen were ready to drive the boy into a hospital car. But just as he was on his way in, he suddenly outbursted and yelled out loud. "Hey, stop! Fucking stop now! I'm not sick, and I'm not going to that fucking hospital!"

He suddenly glared and pointed with his bandaged arm at me. "The girl over there! Look at her; she is the shitty bitch, who were with them!"

I could still do nothing but stare, and tremble with fear in my eyes.

The policemen took a glance at me, and then shrugged. They didn't believe him.

"You don't believe me, huh? But she's the one, who should be in this bed, not me! Heard me, bitch! Your fucking boyfriends are murders, who killed **my** friends! You should just die in hell, do you hear me?"

_Die in hell…_

He couldn't say anything more, before he was into the hospital car and the door had been closed. The policemen looked at me, and bowed in an apologetically way, before walking in, too.

They drove away from the shopping centre with the alarm turned on, and the car on full speed.

Paralyzed; that was, what I was.

Too many thoughts…

The gangster had been killed, burned. They had not run away, like Debitto said.

Guns…

Jasdero and Debitto… murders…

Stigmata on their foreheads… and grey skin…

The redhead had obviously not been okay, when he had told the policemen the story. But his explanation… it sounded completely like the ones Allen Walker had told me about…

Noahs…

I clinched my fists.

But they couldn't be Noahs… they were my best friends… Jasdero and Debitto…

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts. They couldn't be murders. They were not killers. They were some nice and wonderful people, who would never do anything as terrible as that.

But then who had killed the gangsters? It would obviously have to be Noahs, though I had never really seen one.

One thing was for sure; Jasdero and Debitto were **not** Noahs. They were **not** servers of the Millennium Earl.

The red haired gangster was wrong. It would have to be someone else.

"_She's the one who should be in this bed!"_

"_Bitch!"_

"_Die in hell!"_

It hurt. I could feel it in my chest, and my stomach tightened. I felt like throwing up again.

_They are not murders… they can't be…_

"Found you!"

I turned around with shocked eyes, when I felt the hand on my shoulder. Debitto looked surprised by my reaction.

"Jesus, we looked for you for a fucking long time!"

"Four hours, hii!" Jasdero exclaimed, and hung his head in the usual way.

I smiled weakly at them. Fortunately, it was just them.

"You… you spent four hours?"

Debitto grinned. "Yeah, we looked in every shop, where we thought you worked, and then found a bar where a weird man said that you had just got off work."

Weird man… that must have been chief…

"And then we searched everywhere in this shitty city!"

"Sorry…"

He looked at me, startled. "Sorry? For what?"

I blinked a few times. What **did** I even say sorry for?

I shrugged.

Jasdero then hugged me tight. "But we found you now, hii."

I could feel my heart bump a few more times than before. He was warm, as usual. But Debitto then cleared his throat, and Jasdero loosened his grasp. "Well… what were you doing here?"

I shivered. "Nothing." I just said.

He clearly didn't believe me, but didn't ask more into it. Strange… that was not like Debitto at all.

"Well, let's walk home."

I was just about to join them walking, when a thought then came.

Why hadn't I asked them that before?

"Debitto?"

He stopped walking and looked at me. "What?"

"Where do you two live?"

Jasdero also stopped, but didn't turn around. Debitto's eyes flinched and twitched, and he frantically looked at his twin.

Why wouldn't he tell me, where they lived?

Was it secret?

He looked at me again, obviously unsure in his way of speaking. "We… live far away from here…"

"Far away?" I asked.

"Very far away."

That ended it, cause he suddenly began walking. I stood there for a minute, just watching them go ahead of me.

I looked down, while closing my eyes.

He had lied... again.

* * *

I looked back at her again, but turned my head around when she saw it. She had just been standing behind us for some time, but then followed us, without saying anything at all.

Not good.

Would she blindly believe us, again? Or would she ask more into it?

The thoughts made my head hurt. We would have to lie all the time, so she didn't found out what we were planning. Maybe she had already been contacted by the silly exorcists, and that would be problematic if it was true.

Debi looked at me, and I knew what he was thinking.

_You think she believes us? That human?_

_I dunno…_

He turned around again.

She **was** just a human after all. And no human could be compared to Jasdebi, so what could she do anyway? She was maybe an exorcist, but she was so weak, that she didn't look like one. She didn't even have any strenghts, except for piano playing, but you can't use an instrument in a fight, right?

But what if she had gotten contacted of the other exorcists, and she would actually become one? What if she learned to control her Innocence? And what if her Innocence really was an instrument such as a piano. Well, there had been exorcists with Innocence like that before, and there was also the 14th; the betrayer.

Then, she would be a danger to us, and we would have to kill her…

"Jasdero?"

I looked back at her, surprised. She never really asked me anything; I mean; me alone. She always asked both of us, or Debi. So what would she ask **me**?

"How did you get your stitches?" she said and looked nervously at me.

I thought back. How **had** I even gotten them? I never really noticed them much. They just were there, and I never thought closer about it.

I shrugged. "Dero doesn't know, hii."

Debitto narrowed his eyes at me, and then at Ayumi.

"It looked like it hurt, when you got them…"

She looked down in a very thoughtfully way.

I grinned. "Do you think they're ugly on me?"

Yumi looked back up again, showing some weird feeling in her eyes, I just couldn't figure out.

The mysteries of humans…

"No." she said clearly. "I like them."

I surprisingly blinked at her.

There had never been anyone, who had liked my stitches. Not even the other Noahs or the Earl. Road had once tried to cut them off, so she sure didn't like them. How could anyone like something like that?

"Why?" I asked.

"Because they suit you."

I blinked again. She had seen that, so she looked down, mumbling excuses while blushing.

Debitto just glared at me, like I was an idiot. I ignored him for once.

"But Dero isn't pretty. Dero is ugly, hii."

That was actually what I really felt. I hadn't really liked anything about myself, except for my hair. And no one had ever told me that I was pretty before, so I actually just considered myself as ugly. I knew it wasn't good to be so negative about yourself, but I just couldn't avoid it, when I looked myself in the mirror.

Again, Yumi surprised with that glimpse in her greyish eyes. A glimpse of something, I just couldn't describe…

She suddenly giggled, with small laughs.

I looked at her, startled.

"You're not ugly, Jasdero." she said. "I think you have a cute face, and some pretty eyes."

Cute face…

Pretty eyes…

When I didn't do anything but stare at her in my usual way and hung my head, she immediately held her hands before her mouth. She blushed a deep red. "Um, it was not really like that, I mean, it was… uh… umm…"

I grinned beamingly at her. "I also think you're pretty, hii."

She got even redder in the face than before, and completely covered her mouth. I had never seen her showing her feelings this much. She looked so funny that it made me giggle.

But I then thought it over again.

Did I really think that she was pretty?

Was it true, what I had said, or was I just acting?

I knew we were supposed to act and lie all along, but still, now I was confused about if I was acting or not.

Was I really feeling, what I said? No, that was impossible...

What** did** I even feel… and could Noahs really feel anything at all?

When I returned to reality again, I realized them both staring at me.

My attitude had completely changed, now that I thought about it. My mouth was not grinning anymore, and my face felt serious. Too serious. Not like me at all. My mouth was placed in the wrong position, and my eyes not as wide as before.

"Is something wrong, Jasdero? Was it something I said?" Yumi asked, looking sadly at me.

Debitto didn't say a word. Weird for him, cause he was always grumbling and yelling and swearing, and talking out loud when not even necessary. That usually annoyed others, though Yumi had never griped about it.

I turned my head around. "No… it's nothing, hii. It's not your fault." I said. "I was just thinking, hii."

"Oh… okay…"

She sounded sad. Was she sad, because of me? Because that **I** felt sad? But why would anyone be sad, because of others unhappiness?

_Have you never cried of happiness before?_

I shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking about that. As Noahs, we saw something like that as ridiculous. After all, it was just human feelings, and ways of acting.

_Sympathy…_

_Does she have sympathy for me? But why?_

_It's not like she would like me, if she knew I was a Noah… then she would sure just run away, and be afraid of us. After all, she's still just a human._

_And love between a Noah__ and a human is… _

"Jasdero!" she screamed.

Pain; in my head. I fell to the ground.

Debitto burst out laughing so loud, that I think he woke up every human in this neighbourhood.

"H-Hold on! I'll get a cold cloth and some bandages!" her footsteps sounded quickly, and then slowly faded away.

I could feel it thumping in my head and some blood slowly oozed out. Debitto still laughed, but then sat down beside me. I looked at him, as he tried to hold in the laughter with his hand.

"Sorry, haha… but it's the second time in a week you did this."

I tried to look in front of me. A lamppost.

I lay my head down on the cold ground again. Why was I always so unlucky?

Noahs weren't supposed to be unlucky, or clumsy, like me. I was a completely fail as an apostle of God.

Debitto touched my head, where the scratch had come. "It'll heal soon."

I looked him in the eyes. "I know. But Yumi…"

"Let her believe in it for some time. Just let her give you on that bandage." He looked serious now. "She'll soon discover the truth about us… But she won't have much time to think about it…" Debitto smirked. "Until it's over…"

There was a sound of steel encountering itself, and then rapid footsteps.

Something cold and wet touched my forehead. It felt nice. A hand gently touched the hurt place. I glanced up at Yumi, but she looked like she was concentrated in pulling the bandage around my head.

She carefully lifted my hair, and wounded my head into the white fabric.

What was that?

It felt nice…

I wanted her to keep touching my head in that caring way, like no one had ever done to me before. It was such a strange, but at the same time nice feeling; to be touched like that.

But why did it feel so nice, when it was just a human?

"I think it's okay for now. Does it hurt?"

I shook my head. "Not now."

She slightly blushed, but hid it by standing up.

Debitto offered his hand at me, and I cheerfully took it. He giggled quietly again, but I looked at him, innocently. It wasn't my fault, humans sat up all that stupid lampposts…

Now, we were actually in front of Yumi's house, so that was shy she had been so quickly.

I looked up at the night sky. Stars were everywhere in the darkness, which looked like eternity. The full moon also brightened up in the middle of it all.

There weren't really any of us, who said anything. Yumi looked up too, and closed her eyes. Her long hair was gently being pushed back by the wind. She looked… well, I couldn't even describe it. It was something, which was so strange to me, that I just didn't know the right words for it.

"So… I think we'll walk home now." Debitto said, ruining the whole mood.

Yumi had a startled expression. "You don't want to come in this time?"

"No, I think we'll just go now."

"Oh, okay… then, um, I'll see you tomorrow then…"

"Yeah, bye."

With that, Debi and I walked home, and she walked into her house. The fence loudly closed in, but then there was just silence.

I looked up in the sky again. The clouds were moving away from the moon, revealing the whole of its big and round glance. There was a thin air encounting us.

The air grew bigger, and out of nowhere, a man came from a door. Tyki.

"Ready to go home, finally?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just move your ass, so we can come through." Debitto grumbled, while gritting his teethes.

"Had a nice day?" Tyki grinned.

Debitto glared at him. "It's none of your business, stupid Tyki."

Tyki chuckled. "Then I guess you had a nice day, or am I wrong?"

I followed Debi, into the floating door. He didn't answer, but clenched his fists. He sure hated Tyki's sarcastic way of annoying us. Especially when it was about something private, as our missions on killing exorcists.

* * *

I slowly took off my clothes, and replaced them with a T-shirt and some shorts; my usual dressing for night.

I lay down on my bed, resting my head on the pillow.

I turned around, over and over again. Why was it so hard to sleep?

Because of them.

It had been really fun today, but before they came… that red haired boy…

_Your friends are murders!_

_Die in hell!_

_**You**__ should have been the one lying in this bed…_

His explanation… it couldn't have been any other than them. But they were not murders. The gangsters were the ones, who had tried to murder **them**.

But everything only made sense, if I placed the twins into them.

_They can't be Noahs…_

_Noahs are the evil ones, aren't they?_

_Jasdero and Debitto are the good ones, right?_

_They would never kill anyone…_

My eyes then closed in. I thought about it again. There had been gunshots, and then screams.

I remembered that the red haired had said something about them talking together on the same time.

But when I had been lying on the ground of the building, I hadn't heard anything at all. Well, I had nearly fallen unconscious, so maybe that was why.

But if they had all just run away, like Debitto said, and that the gangster was just not right in the head, it would all be solved. No one had died, and there were no murders…

I didn't really want to think more about it, so I tried to clear all the thoughts from my head, and turned around again.

But the curses were still nagging me, in the back of my head. Well, maybe I **should** have died in stead of them. Maybe that would have been better; cause then I didn't cause any more problems for anyone…

Anymore…

* * *

**Please review. I really appreciate every single one of them I get, and it touches me every time I look at them. You're all so kind and nice:)**

**Also, as it says in my profile, you're welcome to call me Prune-chan. It's officially now:)**


	6. Learning to Realize

The alarm clock rang.

The strident sound coming out made sure I was fully awake. Something as loud as that could have even made a dead corpse wake up.

"Fucking annoying stupid…"

I swore to myself, while trying to find out where that stupid thing was standing. My hand tried to reach out for it, but there was nothing but air.

"Jasdero!"

He snored.

"Jasdero! Get that fucking alarm clock to stop ringing!"

He moaned, and then turned around.

I could feel my temper rise up again. I tore off the duvet, and rose up from my bed.

The clock just kept ringing. Why the hell did we even have such a shitty, holy fucking alarm clock? Well, actually because the Earl said we should have it, so we could wake up in the morning and come to school…

But still, that fucking thing was annoying me to death!

Where was it?

I looked under some clothes on the floor, and then walked over to the closet. But just as I had slightly opened it, I slammed it shut again. Jasdevi's hate was in there, all big brown and disgusting as ever. Weird… I thought we had got rid of it… well, it was not our problem. Though it would be fun to see the face of the next person, who dared to open it.

I took all the clothes from the floor, and placed them on top of Jasdero. I then took his chicken up from the floor, and lay it on the top. Then I just took all the things I could find on the floor, and added it to the pile on top of my sleeping twin so it was pretty symmetric.

"Why?", I'm sure anybody would ask. Well:

One: it would be funny, when he woke up.

Two: Now I could see, if the alarm clock was on the floor, cause it just kept ringing.

I narrowed my eyes in furiousity, as I slammed my hand into the wall beside me. No where on the floor. I swore again, but as the next second came my swearings turned into something far more quiet. My eyes widened as I could feel something on my right foot. My eyes, without me asking for it, immediately looked down on them in reflex.

I glared at it for some time, blinking, but then thought it all over again so I got it right. The spiky hair on my head got stiff while going right up in the air, like it got chills all over. I then gaped with my mouth, while feeling all the stuff in my stomach ache a little.

No way...

No way, no way, no way!

My face got all blue, and the clock kept ringing.

"JASDERO!"

He screeched with shock, and the chicken crowed and chopped him in the head. All the clothes and things, he had frantically thrown up in the air, landed in his head again. His bandaged head.

But he stood up immediately, and walked over to me. I was still blue in the face.

He waved his hand in front of my head in curiousity, but as he didn't get any reaction, he looked down on me to see what was wrong.

Then as he looked down on my feet, he began laughing his head off.

Getting out of the trauma, I furiously turned around just to see his grinning face. A sudden outburst came from my mouth, as I just couldn't hold it in anymore. It would maybe sound stupid, but I was fucking serious.

"YOUR FUCKING CHICKEN PIED ON ME!"

And with that said, he laughed even more crazily.

With a disgusted face, I looked down at the brown shit on my foot, then at the chicken that was innocently walking away from it. It brocked like nothing had happened, but that featherfull disgusting faeces-making fucking animal... there was no doubt that was the guilty one.

I could feel my temper rise a few degrees, just by looking at it and at the same time hearing Jasdero's crazy laughter in the background.

In angriness, I took a grip on the chicken's neck, and held it up in the air.

"DIE, DIE, DIE, YOU FUCKING ANIMAL!" I yelled, as I shook the stupid thing.

Jasdero frantically stared at me with open mouth, and then screeched, as the chicken stopped flapping its wings in the air. "Hii hii! Dero's chicken! Don't kill it, hii!"

I ignored him, as he tried to make me lose my grasp. I just kept strangling it with, on purpose, what would lead to its death.

The clock just rang all the time, which felt like eternity. At the same time, our loud voices and screams and swearing were disturbing the before peaceful place. But I don't really think we cared much for it, since it was always quiete like this every morning.

The door suddenly opened and was madly slammed into the wall on the right side of it. The big thump echoed, and caused a door knob mark to be revealed, as it went back because of the slam.

Tyki glared madly at us, while his eyebrows flinched furiously. Wonder what he was thinking?

It must have been a strange sight... Me strangling a chicken, while Jasdero was pulling my shirt, the alarm clock was ringing, and there was shit on my foot.

"Do you even know how much I can hear of this from my room?" he asked, still looking as mad as ever.

"Umm...Debi?" Jasdero suggested, and I gave him a glare.

Tyki let a hands slip down on his face. "Everything!" he yelled, more loudly this time. "So would you just shut it, cause I'm damn tired, and the Earl is grumpy this morning!"

"Like we even give a damn, what you say, baka-Tyki!"

"Yeah, shut up, Tyki-pon, hii!"

He sighed. Tyki walked over to Jasdero's bed, tore off the clothes and the blanket. He then lifted the pillow, just to reveal the alarm clock.

Tyki pulled the bottom, and it stopped ringing.

"It was… under your pillow… all the time…?" I said, my voice sounding broken. I slowly turned my head in Jasdero's direction. He giggled nervously, as I felt my teethes gritting. "You… you **dumb ass**!"

I loosened my grasp on the chicken, and instead attacked Jasdero with a kick in the stomach. He yelped in pain, clearly out of breathe. I growled, as I started going after his head.

"Well, " stupid Tyki sighed. "You have to be in school in ten minutes, just so you know."

With that said, he closed the door after him, and I immediately stopped the attack.

We looked frantically at each other, though Jasdero was clearly revealing a rather large bulge under his light bulb. "T-Ten minutes?" we shouted at the same time, Jasdero adding a little "hii" in the end of the sentence.

After that, we quickly found some clothes to pull on, though all the mess on the floor got even more messed up. And not just with that, cause it ended up with us getting it all wrong on. We tried once again, and then hurried down the stairs. Jasdero was still trying to take his pants all up, while we were trying to concentrate on every step we took. He didn't fall, but was rather close to do it.

As our thoughts then reached each other, we pushed each other, in a "Who comes first" challenge. It just ended up with both of us falling into the wall, when we were down on the first floor.

As we walked into the big room with the long breakfast table, all the other Noahs glared at us. Stupid Tyki was there too, though he seemed a little more relaxed this time.

"Late as always, aren't we?"

We both shivered, as the Millennium Earl's glasses reflected the light once again. He sure was grumpy this morning, like stupid Tyki said. Actually, I didn't really believe in him, but now I did for sure.

We silently sat down on the two remaining seats between Sweet Tooth and Lulu Bell. Road was on the opposite, besides Tyki.

While we ate our food, I realized they were all staring at us all the time. What the hell was wrong with them?

"What the fuck are you looking at?" I growled, after swallowing the bread.

Tyki pointed at us with his fork. "You're not wearing any makeup."

Oh, fuck! I had totally forgotten everything about it!

"It suits you."

"Oh, shut up!" I snarled angrily at Tyki.

"Debitto, Debitto… still having problem with the language." A girl voice nearby came.

"Don't try to teach me something, you moron!" I growled at Road. She just giggled, obviously not taking me serious. Why was she always being a little devil like that? Couldn't she just… fuck off?

"How's it going with your girlfriend?" she asked. "Have you… taken any action lately?"

"She's not our girlfriend!" I yelled, while standing up from the table. The chair toppled loudly behind me, but I didn't care for it right now.

"Well, of course she isn't."

Road giggled again in an evil way, afterwards then looking down on a kind of pancake castle she had made. Ugh, when I got the chance for it, I would made her swallow her own candles. She was such a pain in the ass, sometimes, that it just made me so... Aaagh!

Jasdero just stayed silent, without even trying to support me. What the hell was wrong with him? He always supported me, when we were discussing something.

I eyed him.

He was, as I could see, completely lost in thoughts… if he had any…

But he was not looking anywhere. Not like in his usual way of non-eye contact, but in a really blacked out-like way. Wow... it almost looked kinda creepy... even for him. I decided to take the word, as there weren't really any other than me that had seen the weird face he was making.

"Jasdero."

There didn't come any answer, but the others were also focused on him now.

I tried again. "**Jasdero**!"

He snapped out of it, finally, and blinked a few times. He looked weird without his makeup. Well, I think I did too, though of course not as weird as him.

"What, hii?"

I was just about to open my mouth, but I didn't get any time to answer before Tyki cleared his throat and pointed at the clock. 5 minutes to eight, it showed.

"Shit! Come on, Jasdero!"

I pulled him out of the chair, and we started running. He almost tripped in a way that would have looked pretty funny, if I had had the time to be focused on it. But right now, we would not even be able to put on any makeup now; We would just have to hurry.

* * *

I quietly walked down the hallway with the bag on my shoulder.

Everyone sniggered, as time they passed by me.

Like always.

Why were they so late? They hadn't even been at my house today, to have breakfast as usual. Weird… maybe they were ill. But still, both of them? Nah, that couldn't be it…

A girl suddenly ran into me, as she was focused on looking backwards. She was one from my class; Ayano, I think her name was. I remembered her sitting on the table behind me. She always grimaced every time I took a thing from my bag, when turning around.

"Hey! Watch were you're going, bitch!" she snarled at me.

I looked down on the ground. She took a step forward to me, her high-heeled shoes making step noises under her. "Hey, do you hear what I'm saying?"

When I didn't answer, she pushed my shoulder, which caused me to fall onto the ground. She walked past me in a way that seemed to get all the boys attention. The last I saw of her, was the long, perfect combed hair getting pushed behind her neck, like a famous person would do.

I stood up and picked up the things from my bag, which had fallen out. My hand trembled, and just wouldn't stay still, so I clenched it with my other hand while letting the black school bag fall to the floor. It was hard to hold the balance, and all the black-while cube patterns on the floor seemed like they were moving back and fourth.

The tears were almost begging to some out, but I stopped them by closing my eyes. My eyebrows twitched, completely out of control. The black cubes seemed like growing bigger, while the whites looked like doing the opposite. It felt like I had been in a rollercoater for too long.

But my thoughts were clear; no doubt about that.

There was never anyone who respected me!

They always treated me, like I was trash, or like I didn't exist at all…

But what could I do about it? If I tried to go up against them, they would just hate me even more, so the best thing would be to just stay silent. And that was the way I had always done it, though it didn't quite seem to work. What had I been thinking? That the twins could help me get out of this helpless situation?

No... this wasn't their problem... it was mine, and I would have to solve it myself. In either way, it would also be impossible to be together with them all the time. I wouldn't stand out like a helpless person and lean up against them all the time, like they were the only ones holding me alive.

I leaned up against the wall behind me, but then looked down so that my hair fell even more down in my face,; but I didn't care for it. Why should I, when my face was as ugly as-

_I also think you're pretty, hii._

The red flush slightly took place on my cheeks, so I took my hand up to cover it.

Why did I always remember such things?

I'm sure he hadn't really meant it that much... it was just a sentence, no matter what. It was just a sentence, that had made me feel more better.

Jasdero really was a kind person, and always cared for me. That was why I liked him, and saw him as a friend, although he could never help me out of the problems in my class. No of the twins could help me out of that problem and I wouldn't let them bear it all for me.

Also... allthough Debitto always yelled and was grumpy all day, he also cared in some kind of weird way. He had helped me out to learn living, and why life was worth it.

The things, Debitto had said about living with the pain, had really helped a lot; cause he was right. The happiness couldn't exist without the pain, and opposite. That was actually true, and I really appreciated the help I had gotten...

But I would have to solve this with myself...

"Hey, Kurayami!" someone yelled, obviously with the voice of a boy.

I was just about to look up, when my head was crushed against the wall. I immediately felt the pain, like my head was breaking. It would have to be a strong person, cause a hand kept me from moving just the slightest.

"You're not gonna do anything about this?" the boy snorted in a sarcastic tone. "Wow, how weak you are!"

"Yeah, she's really weak, and she can't even talk!" Another one came from behind.

I bit my lip, still feeling the pain, though I tried to hold it in.

They were wrong, whoever it was.

I **could** talk. I just didn't say so much… actually because of them. But they sure didn't know it, and didn't care for it. Anyway I was just the outsider of the class, the person who shouldn't be there; the stupid piece of junk that was just lying in front of your feet.

I tried to move my head, but nothing happened. He was too strong, the boy from my class; Aiko, it was. There was no doubt about that, since there were no one else than him that had such a transition-like voice.

When he began to crush the rest of my body up against the wall, I moaned and coughed. It was hard to breathe. It was really hard, and it hurt like hell.

I had been up against gangster. I had even bit one and shouted at another, but my classmates… I was not strong enough to do it now. But why…?

Because that at that time, my friends had been in danger, and I thought they had been killed. Now, it was only me, who was in danger…

"Hey, Kurayami! You hear me?" Aiko yelled into my ear. I still couldn't move, and I was paralyzed. My eyes slowly narrowed at him, and his bristly brown hair overfilled with wax, was just like a big blur.

I could feel the unpleasant feelings in my stomach coming again. I was embarrassed, again, by my classmates.

His friend stepped closer to me, and joined him by the other side. He took my bag out of my hand, and opened the zipper. He's hand searched deeper and deeper inside it. I think his name was Kenji. Yeah, that was it. Those two were always together, and always tried to get me down no matter what, and would always use every single method they could come to thoughts about.

The next moment he took his hand up again, and small banknotes were popping out between his fingers.

My eyes twitched frantically.

He had just stolen my money!

The tears had begun to show in the corner of my eyes, but this time I couldn't do anything about it. Right now, my emotions wouldn't listen to my will, though every single thing inside me just felt like screaming.

"What's wrong? Getting emotional now?" Aiko asked in a sarcastic tone. "I guess you've got lots of money, so you wouldn't mind if we lend some right?"

I didn't answer. He pressed me even harder against the wall. This time, he grabbed my hair and pulled me up with it.

"Aarrgh!" I yelled in pain, as he pulled it even harder.

He smashed me against the wall once again. This time, the pain was overtaking me. The tears were streaming down my cheeks, totally uncontrolled.

Aiko was just about to slap me in the face, but someone grabbed his hand from behind just before it had reached my face.

Another one came, and took the money out of Kenji's hand. My money.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, asshole?"

Everything seemed like going in slowmotion, but I could feel the safety in my feelings now. It was Debitto's yelling voice. For once, it was nice to hear his loudly and swearing way of speaking.

"Oh, shut the hell up, newbie! Don't come here and think you can play smart!"

Debitto growled. Something happened, cause Aiko suddenly shrieked. He sounded like he was in pain.

Had Debitto done something to him, perhaps?

"H-Hey! You keep away from him, you bastard! Or else I'll—"

"Hii hii! You're annoying!"

That was Jasdero. It couldn't be any others.

Kenji screamed in pain.

I tried to make my head move a little, but still it just couldn't. What were they doing?

Aiko loosened his grasp all of sudden, and I could breathe normal again. I turned around.

Debitto was holding my classmate down on the floor, by one of his feet. Jasdero was holding Kenji by his arms and they really looked like they were in pain.

"Bastard! Stop, let go!"

"Say sorry!"

"What?"

"Say to Yumi, that you're sorry for what you did to her!"

"Never—aaahh!" he shrieked, as Debitto grabbed him by his hair, and pulled it up just the same way as he Aiko had done to me. The boy screamed again, but then kicked Debitto in the leg. He growled furiously and let go.

Kenji turned around and kicked Jasdero in the guts. That made him immediately lose his grasp too, and flinch together at his private place. It hurt just to look at it, and I really wanted it to just stop. If this was just a dream, no; a nightmare, then I could have just woken up now. But this just kept being real, and wouldn't stop until someone got really hurt.

They were all fighting. Kicking, shouting swears at each other, and trying to do the best to get someone down. Two against two. This was fair, but it was terrible! They shouldn't fight, cause that wouldn't solve anything at all! Fighting never solved anything, but then why did it exist?

I just stood there, paralyzed. What should I do?

They kicked and slapped each other, obviously not giving up yet.

I wanted to stop the fight, but didn't dare to break in. I was afraid of getting hit or totally knocked out this time.

It all seemed like being in slowlmotion again, as the shouting and kicking got even louder.

"I-I have an idea!" Kenji, whom Jasdero was holding, suddenly exclaimed. "We decide this, by a challenge!"

"A challenge, hii?" Jasdero asked, while hanging his head.

Aiko, who had been fighting with Debitto, also stopped. "You mean…"

The boy blinked to him. He nodded, and then smirked. "A sport challenge. If we win, we get all of her money, and you shall call us masters for the rest of this month."

"And if we win?" Debitto asked, while glaring down on him.

I could see it made him feel a little unpleasant, cause he swallowed. "I-If you win, you can have this girl back, without any scratches."

Debitto glared even more down on him, and I could see he had gotten a bruise under his left eye; though he didn't even seem to be affected by it.

"A-And of course you get the money back, thus some of ours."

Jasdero beamed at Debitto, and he did the same, like everything was depending on money.

Why? It was just money. It was not like they were missing money, right?

But this would still be terrible! Kenji and Aiko were the bests at winning, cause they could always cheat without anyone noticing. Jasdero and Debitto wouldn't stand a chance against these two. That was impossible, when they were against cheaters like Kenji and Aiko!

Debitto whispered something in Jasdero's ear, and he nodded. They turned to face the boys, and stepped closer.

Debitto held his hand out to the nervous boy, and he shook it after some careful considerations.

"Deal?"

"D-Deal." Aiko answered, but whimpered, as Debitto squeezed his hand with too much power. I could see on his bruise-eyed face, that he had done it on purpose.

* * *

"Rock, paper, **scissors**."

"Ha, I won!"

"No you didn't! I could see you made yours a second after mine!"

"Oh, really?" Debitto said in a sarcastic tone, while rolling his eyes.

"Yes you did! You're a cheater!"

Debitto made eye contact with Jasdero, who began to giggle.

I let a hand slip down on my face. He cheated so much that it was unusual easy to see. It seemed that Aiko had been surpassed in the cheating-thing. Debitto had clearly been doing this for more than one time, though I would want to know where he had learnt this.

"Well, if you think I'm cheating, then choose something else than rock, paper, scissors!"

"We already have! And you also cheated that time!"

Aiko glared Debitto wildly in the eyes. He just rolled his eyes once again, clearly not taking this serious.

Kenji suddenly came from behind. "Can't we just start the game? You two have been fighting about who should start, for an hour. We haven't even begun!"

Debitto's "nemesis" then gave it up. "Fine, you just start!"

Debitto blinked, but then made a sudden outburst. "Yay, I won and you lost!" he shouted, as Aiko walked away. "Loser!" Debitto teased, while sticking out his tongue at him.

The boy just glared at him. There was nobody who had won. Even **I** knew that, but Debitto clearly didn't like to lose. I didn't know what was wrong with him. First, he acted weird together with Jasdero, when they found out they could win money, and now Debitto couldn't handle to lose. They were almost like gamblers today, but at the same time… so childish. Really; who had raised these two? Humans, or monkeys?

I looked up at the sky. The sun was shining and there was not a single cloud in sight. A wonderful weather. Just right for a challenge between four teenage boys. It was still school time, but I couldn't really do anything about it right now. It was a terrible start of a new week and the teachers would probably be pretty mad at us for not coming, but at least we were lucky that there weren't anyone having gymnastic at the time we were going to spent here.

"Then, let the game begin!" Aiko shouted.

"Wait! What game?" Debitto asked, while looking frantically around. Jasdero did the same in unison, but a bit more wildly than his brother.

This confused me.

They were out on a football track, so why couldn't they figure it out? Were they playing dumb or something? No… that wouldn't make sense… I mean; nobody plays dumb like this.

I leaned down in the stadium seat. Popcorns was lying everywhere around me, but I had gotten worst of them off my seat. The rest were swept down in a corner under the long bench. The person who had to clean up this popcorn mess sure wasn't very good at his job, but I would not be the one to gripe. I guess I wouldn't be able to do it any better myself.

"This!" yelled the boy, when kicking a football over to him.

Debitto glared at it, really not showing just a single expression of knowledge about this.

"What the hell are we supposed to do with this?" he asked, while pointing blankly at it. "It's just a ball."

Jasdero tried slowly to touch it with his foot, like if seeing that it was real and not just an illusion. He didn't know what it was, either.

"Huh, you never heard of football?" Shouted Kenji with wide eyes. "Then what the hell do you think we're doing on a football track?"

Debitto shrugged. "Playing hide and seek?"

Aiko smacked his hand onto his face. "This…" he pointed on the ball. "Is a football. You have to kick it into that goal over there."

He pointed at the goal behind him. "That's **our **goal, and…" he said, while afterwards pointing behind Debitto. "**That** is your goal."

Debitto just stared at Aiko with open mouth, like he was an idiot. "So… what's the funny thing about getting a ball into some kind of net thingy?"

Jasdero took the ball up in his hands.

"This isn't supposed to be funny! We're making a challenge here, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. Jasdero, gimme' that ball."

Jasdero shoved it over to him without even looking. Weird, cause it was turned out to just be tha right direction of his brother.

Debitto held it firmly for a moment, thinking, and then threw it in the two boy's direction, not even looking like this was in his interest.

But the ball... It flew with such an enormous speed, that you didn't even have time to see it. I stared with open mouth.

A big thump was heard the next second. It was so loud that it sounded like something had gotten broken. The ball hit Kenji in his face, and he fell to the ground.

Aiko stared frantically at Kenji, and then at Debitto. "Y-You- you…"

"Yeah, I threw the ball. So what?"

Kenji stood up, revealing a big red mark on his cheek, with the pattern of a football. Again, my mouth was wide open. They had never heard of football, and yet, Debitto had just made a boy fall by hitting him with one in the face, on a distance of twenty meters?

Kenji glared madly at him. "First of all; we hadn't begun! Second; it's **football**, not **handball**. You're supposed to use your feet! Third; you're not aloud to hit someone with the football on purpose!"

He sounded furious, but Debitto just shrugged. "Whatever. Can't we just start?"

Aiko nodded; still annoyed, I could see. He placed the ball in front of him, and then kicked it. Jasdero was standing in front of the goal, and didn't even look concentrated. Instead, he sat down on the ground and played with the grass under him like it was the most facinating thing in the whole world.

As Aiko came closer, he shoved the ball over to Kenji, who was running beside him.

I gaped. The twins didn't stand a chance! They didn't even know what it was, so how could they win, although Debitto had been pretty good at making Kenji fall; but still, how could he know anything of all the stragedy that was behind this game?

Suddenly I realized that I was stooping on the seat, and was squeezing my hands.

I was worried. Of course I was; I mean; if they lost I would get beat down by the Kenji and Aiko, until I couldn't breathe. Now, I didn't even care about my money anymore, though I really needed them back. The moneys I had received from chef.

I got chills as Debitto began to move.

I couldn't see anything, but something had happened to Kenji's leg. He fell onto the ground with a big bump. His legs looked all twisted, like they had been smacked together and fell over each other.

But Debitto hadn't even touched him, so how could he fall? It was not like Kenji would be clumsy…

This was unusual weird.

The ball was under Debitto's foot now. Aiko looked furiously at first, but then ran toward him, obviously not giving up yet. I would never have the power to do a sport like this, and I'm sure I was just have been wallflower or something.

Quickly getting up, Kenji ran toward his goal. If he wasn't there, there wouldn't be anyone to defend it, and he had to stop Debitto before he would toss the ball.

This was really weird. Kenji and Aiko were the bests on the sport teams, and never lost or just made a little single mistake.

Jasdero hung his head, while standing inside the goal. He realized I was looking at him, so he waved his hand at me.

Even on such a long distance, he had seen me looking at him.

I turned my head in the direction of the opposite goal, to see what was going to happen.

Debitto kicked the ball so hard, that you couldn't see it once again. The goal got bigger, as it had apparently gotten tossed into it.

Aiko stunned, completely out of breathe, while having his hands on his knees. "H-How…"

"Skills, I suppose." Debitto said, while grinning at the confused boy.

"But you didn't even know what the heck it was!"

He shrugged, and then turned to Jasdero. "Hey, Jas! We'll switch!"

Jasdero immediately stood up and switched place with him. They gave each other a high five when running past.

But something was still nagging me in the back of my head.

Would Jasdero be just as good as Debitto, when it came to football? He didn't even look concentrated, but neither did Debitto, now that I thought about it.

Still, it was really weird that they hadn't heard of football before. I mean; everyone knows what football is, especially boys. So how come, they had never heard of it before?

It was right that they were newbies around here, but then why hadn't they been playing it in their previous school?

* * *

I glanced nervously at Debi, before we walked past each other. He gave me a blink with the left eye. I knew that it meant; "You can do it, Jasdero."

He gave me a high five, though it hurt a little in my hand, cause I hadn't been expected it. He was really harsh when doing things like that, but I knew he didn't mean it in an evil way. He just wanted to make me feel better about this.

But could I really do this? I hadn't even played this kind of game before. Noahs didn't play "Football". I had never heard of it before. Well, I think it was just some kind of stupid human game.

Before, Debitto had frustrated that boy on purpose. That was why he had gotten the ball, but could I do the same? Maybe… we **were** Noahs after all, so we would have the skills to be strong and fast.

"Bring it on, Blondie!" the boy in front of me yelled.

I took the ball under my foot, and then ran. I made it follow me all the way, so it didn't slip by. The two boys glared at me like I was crazy, or something. But they shook their heads and then ran after me after some considerations.

"GO JASDERO!" Debi yelled from behind. "WOO, YOU CAN DO IT!"

That gave me even more power to continue, and just as the boys were on both sides of me, I stopped and then turned around. They got confused, because I was running in the wrong direction; but that was my plan.

I kicked the ball under one of the boy's legs, pushing him out of my way and took the ball with my feet again. This worked pretty well, when thinking about, that Jasdevi hadn't played it before.

I glanced up at Yumi, who looked back. She looked slightly nervous. What was she afraid of? That we would lose?

_Jasdevi never loses._

I kicked the ball into the goal. It was very long afar from where I stood, but it hit the target as it got tossed in just the right way.

* * *

"Hii hii! It's too law!"

"But you already got all of our money!"

"Lemme' see your bag." I said, while taking it out of his hand. His friend looked at us, frantically.

Ayumi stood on a little distance away from us. She hadn't said a word, after the football fight.

Heh, I was kinda proud of it. But still… of course…

_Jasdevi never loses…_

"Ha! I said it! You had more money!" I shouted at him, when taking out five more banknotes. This was great! We got more money now, so when the debt ladies found us again, we could even pay some of it back. Not that we were going to do so. I mean; why the fuck do that, when we could avoid it.

_Stupid Cross... I hate him for making us pay all that debt..._

I gave Jas a high five again. We had won the challenge one hundred percent, cause they hadn't even got just one goal! Five rounds and we won all of them!

Humans were so easy. No one could stand a chance up against a Noah, ever. Not even if they had got superhuman powers!

The two humans walked away, but they narrowed their eyes at us some times before they were out of sight.

"Bah, losers!" I shouted at them, while making a face and sticking out my tongue at them.

Jasdero joined me. "Losers, hii hii!"

Yumi walked over to us. "Th-Thanks…" she said, looking slightly up at us from behind the "fence" of hair.

I gave her the money, which had been stolen from her. When placing it in her hand, I realized that she didn't really look happy at all. Actually, ever since we came late today, she hadn't looked the slightliest happy at all. I never really understood her, and the way she felt.

"What's wrong?" Jasdero asked her.

She held her hand on her shoulder and looked at us. "N-Nothing. I was just thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"Umm… I, actually" she began. "… How come you didn't know what football was?"

I looked confused at her. "Its just a game, and there's so much of them. I guess there's a lot who doesn't know about football."

"But… everyone knows what football is. It's one of the most popular sports in the world."

I shrugged.

"But we know now, hii."

She still didn't look quite convinced. "You had never played it before. Yet, you were so fast that it was almost…"

"Inhumanly?" I asked.

She blinked a few times. "Y-Yeah…"

I grinned at her, before Jas and I turned around. "Well, then I guess we're not human."

She walked beside us, but looked more concerned now. Her eyes were twitching. Maybe I shouldn't had said that, but it was not like she was going to find out what we were...

I spoke, but was serious this time. "Just kidding…"

* * *

**Man, aren't Kenji, Aiko and Ayano annoying? Well, I can't say I like them, but they are pretty common characters from Yumi-chan's class, so maybe you'll meet more of these bastards, lol. However, they make the story more interesting, but don't they just want to you slap them in the face?**

**Hmm... more?**

**Just so you know, I have enabled the anonymous reviews-thing, for those who haven't seen it. **

**I make these chapters waay too long, sorry-_-"**

**See ya next time ;) XD**

**R&R.**


	7. Learning to feel the Pain

**Hi everyone! Sorry it has taken such a long time for me to update^^" I have been in a writer's block, so it was pretty hard for me to write fanfiction in some time. Anyways here it is, and I decided to have it finished today, because... IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!^^ Yay, I hope I get some good presents... and a great time...**

* * *

The window was open, as the cold wind blew into the room. The curtains turned backwards, in the same direction and on the same time it came.

Winter sure was beginning to come, and the weather belonging to it…but well; I didn't care for the cold anyway. There was a fireplace, so everything could always be heated up a little, when we wanted to. Although nobody really liked when there was hot indoors, everyone preferred them instead of some frozen door knobs. That was to understand, since we had experienced that last year. I think we all remembered it, although we didn't really want to.

The walls surrounding the little room mirrored the reddish colour coming out from it, and the pictures hanging all over didn't show any signs on holding back the light reflecting them. They almost shined, and showed every single detail about the person who had been portrayed on them. Everyone looked like each other. They had the inevitable stigmata and the grey skin, together with the dark hair. Although a single person with blond hair. He stood out from all the others; he lightened up things, when they were too dark. But he wasn't any different from them. He had the same genes as us, although only a few knew why his blond locks really were there, instead of the stiff or curly dark hair, which every single Noah really should have received.

I slowly walked over to the bookshelf with thoughtful steps, but at the same time self-assured, like time was nothing to me. Well, it actually wasn't; cause I had all the time I wanted. That was how it was to be immortal. Pretty long life, but you still have your time, and you never had to be busy.

The book I took out was big and brown, with a very thick cover. It was not supposed to be a normal book, although you could write in it. The pages were overfilled and there probably wouldn't be space to anymore. There were all kinds of writing types; cursive writing, sloppy words and normal well formed letters. They were apparently made by different persons with a different experienced in writing.

"Hmm…" I mumbled to myself, making my voice go up and down in the tone. "Where is it…?" I narrowed my eyes, as I browsed further in the book. The pages were old, and some of them had enormous layers of dust. It all blew away, when I took the chance to breathe out on the pages.

"Not this one either…"

A sound suddenly broke the whole silence, when the door echoed as it was opened. I wasn't curious about who it was, so I just continued on browsing in the book. Whoever it was, approached to me, almost too close, after my opinion. It couldn't be a woman, since Lulubell was out at that time, playing a cat or whatever, so it would have to be a man.

"Road," the person spoke with a curious but at the same time annoyed way. "What are you doing?"

I glared up from my sitting position on the floor, not really too happy to see the interrupter. "Tyki-pon…"

He didn't look that much interested, but was apparently curious, since he almost stuck his whole face down in the book. He considered what was at the pages, but didn't get much time for it. I quickly smacked the front and backside of the book into each other, just as his nose was placed in between them.

"Ouch!" he yelped, and quickly took a grip on his nose like it would fall off. "What the heck did you do that for?" he sounded like he was having a cold, because of the way he spoke, when not having a chance to breathe out through the two nose holes.

I just walked away from him and over to the bookshelf again, completely ignoring him. Why did he always have to be this annoying? Always sticking in his nose in other people's work…

"You know..." he said from behind, massaging his nose, like he was trying to get it back to place. "I don't know what I do wrong, when you just torture me."

"I don't care, and I have to search for something."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Well, it isn't nothing when you're searching for it."

"But it is nothing you need to know."

"But I want to know."

…

"Can't you just go away, if you want to annoy me?"

Tyki sighed and, as I could hear, leaned up against a wall. "You seem more big tempered than you use to. Is there something—"

"I'm just searching for something I found some time ago, and it is nothing you need to care about."

"What?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I took out a new book and sat down with it, crossing my legs in a pleasant way, so it felt comfortable. This book was different from the others, since most of the pages you saw were completely blank. But I knew where it was.

"Road… you know there's nothing in that book, right; or are you just so tired that you see mirages?"

I growled, as I flipped over to the next page. But when my eyes immediately saw the one I had searched for, I beamed. "Here it is!"

Tyki breathed out, apparently smoking a cigarette, then leaned in closer to see what it was. At first he didn't show any expression, but the next his mouth was wide open.

He tore the book out of my hand, and that kind of surprised me. No one ever dared to take anything away from me, and that was really to understand, since it was me. And I had candles.

"This…" Tyki spoke from under the cigarette, barely breathing. "How the—I mean, how have you gotten it?"

I giggled and afterwards stood up. I rocked the book a little to the right side to be able to point on it with my finger. "I stole it."

He looked blankly at me.

"How?"

"I sneaked in, and then I took it."

"But did **you** take it with the-"

"Nope."

"Then who did?"

"Them."

"And which house is it?"

"That girl's"

"And who's that girl?"

"Their new victim."

I could see that his expression was showing that he wasn't really convinced yet, although I had explained it all. Sometimes he should have some time to figure out things, no matter how many times you explained them to him.

"But the photo…"

I snorted. "Yeah, what about it?"

He gave it back to me, immediately turning back to the smoking when his hand was free. "They look quite happy. If **they** took it, then why did you steal it?"

I sighed loudly. "I wanted to know why they spent so much time in that neighbourhood and why they are so tired when they go to bed."

"Hmm…" Tyki murmured. "That's actually right. Last night they were also constantly talked about football, and I can't remember that they have ever just watched a football game. Do you think the school is driving them crazy, perhaps?"

"Nah… I think it's more the girl who's driving them crazy." I answered, crossing my arms and sulking. She spent so much time together with the two idiots, that it was almost unbelievable. I mean; who in the world would want to hang out with a couple of weirdoes like them?

Tyki crushed the cigarette in an ashes bear, and then lit a new one. He always smoked when he was either stressed or thinking deeply about something. Right now he must have been pretty confused too.

"But you know…" I continued. "The only reason why they're following her around all the time is only because they think that she's the exorcist. Although they haven't even found a clue yet, they keep acting in front of her."

Tyki placed a hand on his forehead, and slowly let it slide down his face. "I don't understand how they can keep doing it." he sighed, not really looking at me.

"Huh?" I asked while lifting my eyebrows. What did he mean? It was so easy to act…well, for me it was…

"I mean that…" Tyki thought for a moment, and then returned to the subject. "You know, Jasdebi can't tolerate humans, so it must be a pain to be around that girl all the day."

I giggled, and then took the book again. I opened the page where the photo was. Half of Jasdero's thump was still in the way at the corner of the picture. It was obviously him, who had taken it. "Jasdebi isn't used to be around humans, but they are doing the mission very well. But on the inside, they just want to kill that girl as soon as they can…"

Tyki snorted. "But I'm sure they can't do it. Try to take a look on that picture." He said. "They're just playing around on their mission again like they usually do when then they have the chance for it."

"They're acting."

He looked at me with big eyes, gaping a little, like I had just revealed the biggest secret in the world. "What?"

"They're acting. Isn't it obvious? They know they'll get scolded by the Earl, if they don't do what he says. And besides, a Noah wouldn't betray us."

"Then what about the 14th?"

I looked down, eyes twitching and not really in the mood for this. I sighed. "That's something different. Jasdebi wouldn't betray us. They have been Noahs for so long, that they're used to this. Used to killing, even though it's someone they know."

Tyki stood up and walked in the direction of the window. He placed his elbows on the white tree and glanced out. He was not so far away, so I would be able to hear what he said. "I don't think they would betray us either. Although they've known this girl for quite some time, they could kill her just when they wanted to. She's so weak that she wouldn't be able to defend herself; not even when they are separated as two persons."

"When Jasdebi were little…" I started, which caused Tyki to turn to me with a curious look. "They were taken in here. Just from the first time I saw them, I knew they wouldn't make it without each other. They hate and despites humans, because of their past, and they cling to each other all the time. So when they feel the urge to kill them and have the right to do it, they will, and they will do it together."

"So…" Tyki started, but I interrupted him.

"Yeah, they hate that girl because she's a human, and maybe even an exorcist."

Tyki watched me, as I took out the picture from the book. "What are you then going to do with the picture? There must have been a reason why you stole it."

I sniggered, and started to approach to the door. My mood had changed now, I could feel. The before awkward talk, had changed to a subject I thought of as funny. "I'm just going to prepare a tease with Jasdebi a little with it. They'll discover it as soon as they come home. You know how they hate it."

The serious face Tyki had had before was now replaced with an almost impressed expression. "You just can't let them be, can you?"

"Nope." I answered while grinning. Opening the door, he followed me out with quick steps to be able to stay in the same tempo as I walked.

He looked a bit disappointed in some kind of way. "Even **they** don't deserve to be tortured like that, Road."

I looked at him for a moment, and then gave him a little punch in the head after turning around. "You're crazy, Tyki."

He growled, but immediately followed me when I started walking down the corridor. "And you're too violent."

I giggled, quite amused. The picture lying in my hand got squashed, as I gritted my teethes. "Maybe…"

_But a human should never dare to get so that much in touch with a Noah… as Ayumi Kurayami do…_

_She'll regret it as__ soon as Jasdebi discover that she's an exorcist… she'll feel pain… a lot of it…_

_Jasdevi will first torment her, like she is just an ordinary play-toy, and then kill her afterwards…_

* * *

"I won't do it."

"Yes you will."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"But I'll say to Tyki that you were the one, who fed the chicken with his poker cards, if you don't do it."

"Hii!"

I grinned, as I could see he had given in. I always won, when it came to blackmailing, and I would actually admit that I was pretty proud of that, he he. Jasdero was such a sissy, always getting defeated by me so easily. He never thought about doing anything back in revenge. He was just too nice for that, I think.

"B-But, the chicken looked so hungry and the cards were the only thing I could think of, hii!"

I leaned closer to him, showing the scariest face I could think of, to make him feel more uncomfortable. "Yes, but I'll still tell him, if you don't do it."

I could see that he immediately tried to get away from me, but just as he had pushed himself away from the table, I grabbed his arm. He screeched and tried to get out of my grip, but didn't manage to do it. "There's no way in bloody hell if I'm letting you get away now."

He tried to look away from me, but anyway my glance kept staring right into him. I could feel that. Jasdero yelped, but at last sat down on his chair again.

As I opened the drawer in the table, Jasdero watched me with big doggy eyes. It didn't even help just a little, and I took out a little box that had been kept in that drawer for a long time. A box, I had saved secretly just for this time.

My face got all grinning and creepy, when I opened it. I took out five of the sharp small things.

Jasdero gulped. "D-Drawing pins…?"

I answered with the creepiest attitude I could think off, almost like when Tyki's "Black Side" showed up. "The oldest prank in the world, but also the most painful." I sniggered. "And you're gonna place it on the teacher's chair."

Jasdero gulped once again, sweating on his human coloured forehead. "But why me? Why don't you go do it yourself, hii?"

I glared down on him, on purpose making him feel more pressed to the limit. "Because I have something else to spent my time on."

He sighed with a final exclamation. That meant that I had finally won for sure. So, now our big plan could take place, heh heh. I'm such a genius…

There were no other persons in the classroom, because of the time. For once, we had actually been up quite early, so now we had the time to prepare our bestest plan ever. No- our best epic, coolest, most breathtaking plan in the whole world, which had ever been made…!

"But the teacher will, you know… do something to me, if I do something to her. She seems so creepy, Debi…" Jasdero stared frantically into my stiff eyes.

I swung a drawing pin back and forth in front of him, while it was placed between my fingers. "Pookeer caaarddsss~"

That made it. He let his head bump into his table, completely giving up, and making all of his golden locks hide his face.

* * *

As I walked down the corridor, carrying the bag around my shoulders, I was beginning to get curious. Everyone seemed like holding a bigger distance from me, than normal. Like… they didn't even dare to look at me.

I glanced down at myself, to see if there was something wrong with my clothes, but there was apparently not. However, the corridor just seemed to get longer and longer. I sighed. The day seemed to go slower than usual.

When I made my eyes look forward again, I was just about to hurry to the right side, but didn't even have to. Ayano had been doing it instead. Wow, and I thought she would just be indifferent with me and let me do it myself… like last time, where I hadn't been fast enough and bumped into her.

She gritted her teethes, but still didn't look at me. Instead, she speeded up her walking and hurried past me.

She actually seemed… nervous about being around me. What was wrong with everyone today…? Or was it me that was something wrong with?

I moved uncomfortable with my fingers, letting them slide into each other and surround them. This was worser than usual… it would have to be me, that was something wrong with. It would be. What else should it be?

I could see Kenji from a distance. He was, as usual, hanging out with Aiko, who laughed and yelled together with him. But when their faces turned to me, they seemed to get cold and stopped. Aiko whispered something in his friend's ear, and he nodded back in response.

They didn't glare at me, but instead tried to look the other way. I was still going closer to them, but my legs were getting more and more unsteady. These guys sure weren't the best to go up against. I would just have to try to keep myself as far away from them as I could.

A bump.

Kenji lost his book right over my foot, when I was just beside them.

I could feel the shiver over my shoulders and all the way down my back. But the book was quickly picked up and held secure into Kenji's chest. He bowed in an apologizing way. "Sorry." It came under his breath.

For a moment, I could do nothing but just stand there, like I was dumb. Like I just didn't get one damn thing. Actually, I didn't really get any of this. Kenji… had just apologized to me…

"I-It doesn't…" I gulped, trying to get the words right out. "It's okay…"

Aiko eyed me a little, lifting his eyebrow. He was still as nervous as Kenji, but not as much as before. "Do you know…" he started, which made the entire thoughts stream through my head. "The twins… they are not here, right?"

The thoughts were almost getting too much to handle. It felt like my head was going to explode, although I tried to get a hold of myself. They never spoke to me like this, so it was just like… I didn't know what to do! "They have not come yet, I think. They never come this early."

I sighed, now glad that the sentence was all finished. Wow, I had gotten it all right… without any words coming just a tiny bit wrong out…

"Phew…" Kenji exclaimed. "I hope they don't even come today… man, that would just be awesome."

Aiko hit him in the head, and hissed at him. "Stupid! Don't say that when she's here! She can always tell them everything, and then we're almost dead if they get to us!"

I couldn't hear it all, since he kinda whispered them all, but I could see that it made Kenji take himself on his mouth, before they hurried away. I scratched the back of my head.

_Are they… afraid of Jasdero and Debitto?_

I thought it over again. It** could** be possible… since they lost the football fight yesterday. Though I didn't knew that they would even fear to just be in the near of me, the twins were possibly someone they were pretty much afraid of right now. They had of course stolen all of their moneys and probably also scared to death when the football fight had taken place. Kenji and Aiko still had some scratches and marks from that time, and some pretty deep scars too.

So now they were afraid of me, because I was with them; the twins? Because they could kick the shit out of them if they wanted to. Am I not right?

Realizing that I was still just standing in the middle of everything, scratching my head, I started walking. We had some classes now, that I shouldn't miss. The teachers had been pretty mad at me this morning for not coming, so I would have to prove that I was not going to do it anymore.

* * *

"Pfft!"

I just almost couldn't hold it in. the humor in all this was just being too much for me.

At first I had been a little scared of this when Debi had told me about the plan… but now it would be sooo funny!

Though Debi had been taking at the headmaster's office, by putting funny drawings all over the room, I still had the chance to enjoy my part of this. The drawing pins part.

I had placed them all over the teacher's chair, and no one had seen it yet. I looked at the clock. The class should have begun now, and everything was ready. Then when did the teacher come?

My feet were moving up and down constantly. I was so impatient when it came to this. Debi also told me that all the time. But I would have to wait… have to wait…

By the way, where was Yumi? She should have come now… I wonder what her reaction would be like. Scared, amused or mad? Would she think that this prank was funny?

The door opened. I beamed at first, in hope for that it was the teacher. But it was not. It was Aiko.

When he saw me, his face got all blue. Very funny, but I wouldn't laugh right now. Debi said that it sounded a bit insane when I laughed sometime. I should try to stop doing it. But however, Aiko tried to walk in a big circle around me, on the way over to the corned. The place that was the furthest away from me. What an idiot.

_Sooo laameee…_

I yawned.

"Come on you stupid bitch teacher." That was what Debi would have said. He would have used a swear word in every single sentence. But then why was he not here with me? Everything was so boring without him, and maybe it would only be me who could enjoy the teacher's scream then. He would have enjoyed it. Really.

I chuckled again, when I thought about what she (the teacher) would look like, when she sat down. At first she would scream her head off, and then make the table in front of her tip forward, and then she would run around like a mad gorilla. Ha ha… that would be funny.

Looking back at Aiko, he stared back at me when we got eye contact. Should I take his money again? No, not without Debitto…

I stuck my tongue out at him and gave him the middle finger. That made him lose it.

He leaned as much back in his seat as he could, which caused him to fall backwards. Everyone glared at me, because I had been looking at him. But the girl beside him stood up. She had just made a simple hairstyle, with a pony tail and stuff and really was showing off her legs with some shorts. But she glared at me and gritted her teethes. "What the hell has he ever done to you! Why are you being so mean to him, you idiot!"

I hung my head to the right, still having my arms placed on the chair because I was looking backwards. She apparently didn't like my reaction, cause she just tried to stare more down on me before she helped Aiko up from the floor. Were they a couple? Cause they looked like one…

"Ignore him…" a tiny voice came from Aiko. "He's just not normal, such a monster…"

That was it.

The chair tipped over, as my quick move was made. I rushed over to them and made my hand into a fist. It hit Aiko in his face, and he screamed. My eyes were glaring so much down at him as they could, and I stunned, because I was so angry. The girl gasped. Some of the other students in the class had begun to turn their heads toward ours.

It felt so good. To hit this fucking human in his face, to make him feel pain. It just felt so fucking good!

Aiko gasped for air, when I attacked him as soon as I could. I took a strangle grip on his neck, and just pressed my hands onto it. He frantically tried to squeak a sound out, and then waved his hands in the air, obviously not having any sight on where I was standing over him.

The girl grabbed my arm, trying to get me away from him. I madly turned to her and my fist met her face in just two seconds. It felt like slow-motion, although it was not. I just couldn't stop my urge right now. She felt backwards and into the wall.

The students had begun to shout frantically for help, and one ran out of the room, obviously to call a teacher or something. The girl at the wall held her hands before her face. The little of her face, I could see was just showing blood. A nosebleed and then the red marks from my fist. But I didn't care. Or maybe I did? I liked to see her blood, so did I care?

I kept trying to strangle Aiko, being all over him so he couldn't get away. I smirked to myself. The screams and sounds couldn't get through to me. It all looked so blurred. Kinda funny again I thought.

With all those colours and the invisible figure in front of me. It was all like… it was repeating itself. My hands doing the same things, again and again. the same indistinct sounds in the background.

Now I didn't feel that good. Not because I was hurting someone else, cause that felt really good. But because I couldn't feel or see anything around me. It felt like eternity, and then continued repeating itself. Like when there was something wrong in the film and it kept showing and saying the same sounds and scenes again. had I had enough water this morning? Maybe not…

His frantically eyes however, reached a bit through me. The grips on my arms felt like small cockroaches being all over my body, so I tried to get them away. They were also on my legs, and then on my stomach. Again, I just hit them away.

But suddenly, it all stopped. Like the time suddenly pausing for a moment. There was something harsh that made the pain come back to live. It felt so… painful? What was the word for it? But it was in my head, and it made all my actions stop. I knew I didn't have a hold on myself, but this was just too…

It felt like something so painful cutting right into my head, and it made me unsure with my legs. Everything still felt like blur, and the things seemed to get darker and darker for every move I made. I think I was losing consciousness.

* * *

**I'm sorry if this is not as good as the other chapters, but here it was. There's too many POV changes in this one, but I had such a hard time figuring out what to write in this chapter... I hope the next one gets better, and sorry for the cliffhanger^^"**


	8. Learning to Leave

_Darkness…_

_It's all surrounding me… It's coming closer… I don't like it…_

_I'm not dead, right?_

_If I'm dead, then why can I think? Why can I feel?_

_I don't like this…_

_What happened to all the people around me? There were so much of them… so lively… not like this dead place at all…_

_Why can't I see? And why__** am**__ I even here? _

_Is it because I did something wrong?_

_Where are they all?_

_Debi…?_

_Are you there?_

_Please don't say you leaved me behind… please don't…_

_I don't wanna be here…_

_Wait!_

_Something… is it—Light!_

_Yeah, it is! And there's more of it!_

_Am I waking up now? I hope so…_

* * *

"Ugh…" I moaned, holding my hands on my head. It felt like it was going to explode, and it just hurt so much, and it was like there was a weird sound in the background that just kept making that noise.

"Hey…"

Just as the word came, I looked up, opening my eyes. The picture in front of me started with a blur, but then became more and more visible. It recognized both the familiar voice, and the figure in front of me.

"Jas, are you okay?" he asked, while trying to make eye contact with me.

"Debi!" I exclaimed and wrapped my arms around him. He made a surprised grown, but didn't push me away. He was sitting on an chair, now that I thought about it, and he was a little higher up than me. Wait, then I was…

"Hey, easy there! What's with all that hugging?"

I gazed down at the blanket that had been placed over me, and then at Debitto. I was sitting on a bed. That was why he was higher up than me…  
But it wasn't my own bed. The blanket and actually just the whole bed were in bright colors, mostly white.

"What happened?"

He sighed, and placed a hand under his chin. This couldn't be good. It was never good when Debi sighed. "You really don't remember?"

I shook my head after a moment, but still tried to figure out why I couldn't recall anything. It was like there was a wall that stopped me from going any further. Kind of annoying…

"I didn't see it, cause I was at the office, ya' know." He paused for a moment, like he was almost… afraid of telling me anymore. That wasn't really like him. He always told me things just right out straight. "You… you attacked that human… Aiko, something. I don't really care what his name is. You were…"

I opened my mouth a little, then closed them and bit my lip instead. What had I done? And why didn't I remember anything?

"Jas… you were strangling him…"  
Debitto let his gaze turn lower and lower down, while his eyes twitched a little. This was certainly not good…

"At the last, I heard you were hit in the head with a… baseball bat. They said it was the only way they could stop you… and I came as soon as I heard about it…"

I tried to get eye contact with him, but he refused. He wasn't mad at me, right? But then he was sure disappointed of me. But there was still something he hadn't told me. I could both feel and see that on his face.

"Jasdero…" he started. "We can't be here anymore."

"What?" I asked, totally confused now.

"The Earl told us to quit the mission here, after he heard of what happened. He's fucking mad on us now. Besides, the teachers have asked the head master to delete us from the student list, and he completely agreed on that. Now we're not on this school anymore."

It still hurt a lot in my head and I could feel it pounding and nagging all the time he spoke, but I knew the pain would disappear. Although it didn't felt like it would right now. "But then what about—"

"Ayumi?" he interrupted me, and scratched his head like he had all the time he needed. "I don't exactly know what we're gonna do, but anyway we'll try to keep contact with her. That's the best thing to do now, and then later on… just when she reveals her true identity, we'll make sure she doesn't get anymore time back in this world." Debitto grinned.

"I'm so sorry…" I said quietly, without looking at him. I could feel my stomach tighten, the more I thought about it. "I've ruined it all, haven't i?"

He placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked at it with big eyes, and then at the blue eyes under his dark hair hiding them a little. I sniffed.

"It's not your fault, Jasdero. It's mine… I shouldn't have forced you into doing that plan, and besides; I also made some pranks at the office, so the blame should all be on me."

My mouth trembled and I bit my lip to make it stop, feeling the stitches tighten the more I bit. He was usually just mean to anyone, that didn't do as expected, but to me… he was different…

_He always tries to make me feel better…but why…? I'm always in the way, so why should he even bother having me to just ruin everything?_

"Don't blame it all on yourself."

My mouth trembled even more, and Debitto saw that. "Hey… uh, please don't cry, okay!"

I hugged him again, feeling the surprise in his body reaction. I pulled hard in his shirt, every time I could feel the weird feeling trying to take over me.

He sighed, but returned the hug. It felt nice… to be held like this…

"You're too big for this, y'know…"

For some time, we kept staying like that.

It actually felt like eternity. Debitto letting his hand slide up and down my back, and me pulling in closer.

Long time ago… it was a long time ago I had experienced this. It would have to be when we were just small kids… although I couldn't really remember it clearly.

Something about… a woman, I think? A beautiful woman… with beautiful long hair…

Pain… that was also burned in my memory too… like something that was eating me up from the inside. Something that kept going on, kept devouring me…

I hiccupped, when almost letting the thoughts take over. Debitto held me closer, whispering something relaxing to make me feel comfortable. But I couldn't hear the words.

A pain in my forehead… a pain so piercing, that it kept feeling like it was devouring me.

But the feeling of being held like this… I knew it. I had really felt it before, although I couldn't remember.

It really wasn't nice, when I was actually** trying** to recall it, but it just kept resisting. Anyway, I just remembered this feeling… like something that was important…

Something I wanted to remember…

I sniffed and pulled in his shirt. "Debi…?"

"Hmm…?"

I looked at his face, seeing that he was expecting me to cry more. "What happened to the drawing pins, hii?"

At first, he blinked twice, but then grinned with that expression, I loved so much. The expression, he always made, when the two of us spent time together.

"She got all of them riiiight in her butt."

I giggled, almost forgetting the things that had happened. Almost forgetting the time…

* * *

This couldn't be true…

I tried to toss and turn every single thought over and over again, in hope that it was wrong. But it wasn't. If I did, things didn't even make any sense at all.

Jasdero… the most nice person in the world… he had really…

I tried not to think about it. It would have to be rumors, but still… I had almost seen it with my own eyes, so was I lying to myself?

_He tried to strangle Aiko, and ended up hurting one of the girls too…_

When one from my class had run past me, I didn't know why he was holding a baseball bat, and in such a speed. But when I saw that he was running into my class with it, I immediately followed him. He made Jasdero unconscious by hitting him with it.

But in the start… why had Jasdero done such a thing? He was always the clumsy, nice, blond boy, who tried to cheer me up.

Debitto was also captured on the office…

What was wrong with those two?

No one ever dared to do these kind of things. Never ever. So why in the world had they done it and Jasdero in the meaning of actually killing a person?

This was just so wrong!

I closed my eyes once again. I didn't give a damn about how the test would go right now, even though I was sitting here in the middle of a class.

The teacher approached to me. "Are you okay, Ayumi?" he asked.

The others sent me some glares I defiantly didn't like. Someone sniggered. I guess they thought I was just being stupid and weird again. Like always. They hadn't changed just the tiniest after Jasdero and Debitto came.

Why did this always have to happen? I was such a big mistake… to everything. I couldn't even run for ten seconds when we were having sport classes, and I wasn't even good at tests… I never passed, and I guess I couldn't even get a baccalaureate.

The only thing I was actually good at was playing the piano. But what could I do with a stupid instrument? No one else cared for it anyway, so…

My teacher was still waiting for an answer, but it seemed not to be coming. The mood wasn't good right now. It defiantly wasn't.

The door opened loudly, and a person entered our classroom. It was another teacher… yeah, the one from the last lesson.  
She approached to my teacher, who was standing right beside my table. Leaning over to his face, she whispered something into his ear. Fortunately, I was close enough to follow where the conversation was leading.

"Those brats… the twins, you know. They won't be taking classes anymore, so don't wait for them coming here."

My teacher looked surprised, and responded as with a low voice. "But they are a part of the students, Ms. I'm awaiting them right now. They should be taking this test, so how come—"

"The headmaster banished them from this school. The blond one… he tried to kill one of my students, and his brother ruined the headmaster's office. He searched through everything that should have been kept in the drawers."

I stared, with my mouth right open. They were banished…

_They'll not… come to this school anymore…_

The thoughts were all driving on full speed through my head, which seemed to get more and more painful.

Jasdero and Debitto… would not come here anymore…

I bit my lip.

But then… I would be alone again…

I let my hands squeeze each other, not really knowing what to do right now. But I did an action, somehow. I let my body take over.

I stood up from the table. The chair tugged backwards on the floor, noisily. Already on my way over to the door, not looking at anyone, the teacher realized what I was doing. I could hear his voice from behind. "Hey! Where do you think you're going! We're having a test here!"

I ignored him, and slammed the door after me. With as fast speed as I could manage, I was on my way out of the school. Down the corridors, past the laughing students, and out to the bicycles. All the way, I couldn't realize what I was really doing.

I took out my own bicycle, and positioned myself on the seat. Grabbing the handlebar, I started to make my feet step on the pedals. And down the street, I bicycled. My house… I was on my way home.

I had made my decision.

_If they won't be going to school anymore, I won't either!_

_I know what I'm going to do now. I'll pack all my stuff, and go the train station. _

I would go and talk with the Black Order, and I would take the train over there, to meet them. I still had a leaflet from Allen Walker about where the place should be, so I wouldn't get lost.

I thought it over again. Yes, it **would have** to be the right thing to do!

No one else cared for me here anyway, so why should I resist?

Although there was some weird feeling in my stomach, like something would go wrong, something would end seriously bad… I kept continuing.

I wouldn't stop now. I wouldn't stay here any longer.

_I hate this place! I hate that I'm so weak! Everyone else hates me too, and Jasdero and Debitto… they will just disappear from here, so what should I be here for?_

If it was possible to make myself stronger, using that Innocence, that was what I was going to do!

* * *

"Debi~…"

He growled and gave me that face again. "What now?" he asked defiantly pissed.

"Um, are you sure about-"

"Yes, I'm sure, and stop asking the same question over and over again!"

"Sorry…" I mumbled under my breath, making my steps slower as I carefully made them.

The cool air was hard to take. I froze, but tried to stop the trembling actions in my legs. Why didn't I have a jacket with sleeves like Debitto? Instead I was stupid enough to always wear a west and have bare chest.

Anyway, my questions sure didn't make his mood any better. He had completely changed after we came here. Why, I didn't know, but something sure pissed him off badly…

"Jas…"

I looked up from the ground and my trembling legs, where my eyes had been focused on the last minutes. When he got my attention, he started. "We will complete this mission. I'm sure about it. The Earl will only be pleased if we do this without ruining anything."

Again, I kinda felt guilty about the thing I had done. He could say what he wanted, but it would still be my fault for getting us kicked out of school. I had done the worst thing, and I was also pretty sure that was what made him grumpy right now.

Before had just been an exception. Before, he just tried to make me feel better… well; I guess I was thinking too much about it. No one had said that it was my fault.

But still… the thing I had done… why did I do it?

_Why couldn't I control myself?_

One moment I just felt like normal and the next… it felt like something was exploding inside me. Anger and something else. I didn't remember that much, but at least a little bit of my actions.

That boy… Aiko… was it something he said?

Hmm… maybe, since it was him I was trying to… do that to. But the girl beside him… how did she get hurt?

It couldn't possibly be the Noah inside me. That was impossible. It would have to be something else.

But what?

It hurt in my head, when I thought about it, so I tried to stop and focused on something else like the things in front of me. If I wasn't careful about them, I would just end up walking into them again.

We were walking around in the city. It wasn't new, so we knew it pretty good. We were trying to figure out a new plan, although nothing really seemed to come up.

But what if we didn't figure out anything? And if we didn't find the exorcist we were searching for in first place?

Then the Earl would get pissed, and everything with Yumi had just been to no good. And we would be even more horrible at our jobs.

We would get scolded…

"Ugh!" I coughed, but Debitto almost slammed his hand against my mouth. His other hand was placed on my shoulder, trying to hold me from going any further.  
Since I couldn't get any air, and tried to breathe out of my nose but without any luck, I bit his hand trying to let me go.

He immediately took it back to himself and growled loudly, whispering small swear-words. He glared at me, but I just shrugged and gave him an innocent look. I was just going to say something, but he saw that and hushed on me. Debitto pointed ahead of us, and I immediately understood what he meant.

I recognized her hair and when she turned around, her face. She looked like she was a bit nervous, being between all the people surrounding her. Yumi.

Debitto touched my arm slightly and made a "let's go" sign with his hand. I followed him, cause he was apparently leading like always.

Yumi had started to walk, taking the first steps on her way through the crowd. I could see that she mumbled apologizes and bowed every time she accidently walked into a man or woman.

All the time, we hid behind other people or things, so that she didn't see us. It was obviously a part of our plan, and it was actually already working out quite fine. We hadn't done anything wrong… yet.

The time just went on and felt like eternity. Yumi walked and we followed her. That was how the things kept going for so many seconds that I couldn't even count.

Debitto seemed to be very concentrated. He obviously followed her every move, and looked back once in a while to see if I was still there. I felt kinda stupid by being watched out for all the time. Like a little child that couldn't do anything right. Well… yup, that sounded like me…

"She's heading for the train station." Debitto whispered back to me.

I answered a little louder, so that he could hear me. "But what's she gonna do there, hii?"

He shrugged. "How should I know, but she's holding a big suitcase. Hmm…"

"What?"

"Maybe she's leaving. But then where is she going?"

I shook my head in return, but then turned my attention toward Yumi again. She was holding some kind of leaflet, and then looking up at the old signs with train plans for where the big machine was going to drive to.

A big man bumped into her, and she made a painful face. The leaflet wasn't in her hand anymore. Debi had noticed it too, and we both seemed to be searching for it.

Yumi obviously didn't have enough time to find it, cause she glanced up at the big clock hanging from the low roof of the building, and was trying to get her way further through the crowd. The train was coming soon, I could see on all the people.

Debitto pulled in my jacket, getting me over to a certain place he was heading for. The male and females going past us, gave us some glares. Debitto just returned them by either giving them the finger or sticking his tongue out. Their faces looked pretty disgusted by that, but Debitto just continued, completely ignoring them.

He finally bowed down, just to pick up the little piece of paper. I looked out for Yumi, but she seemed to have disappeared into the crowd standing ahead of the railway.

"Jas…"

I gave him a curious look.

"Cross' damn apprentice contacted her."

I stared at it, seeing Allen Walker's signature on the leaflet. "That means…"

"She's the exorcist, hii!"

* * *

**YES YES YESSS! I think I'm finally getting out of my writer's blockXD This chapter seemed to go easier than the last one^^Again, thanks for all of your reviews, cause it really gets me to work faster=)  
The drama seem to soon be beginning (actually in the next chapterXD), so I think thing's gonna interesting from now on. They finally realized it! GOD it took them a long time...**

**R&R**


	9. Learning to hate

"Coffee, miss?"

I stared out blankly at the window, looking at all the trees and building passing by so fast and smoothly together with the small bright blurs of people walking outside. "No thanks."

The train-lady walked away once again, asking more of the seated people about meal and drinks, and made fake smiles to everyone she saw on her way through the little room. Huge and small trees ended up as white stripes as they disappeared from my sight.

Leaning back in the seat, I glanced at the man in front of me who was reading a newspaper. He held it firmly in his hand, turned to a new page every minute and took a look at the clock once in a while. He scratched his unshaved chin, but he was still completely concentrated on the text he was reading.

It just took too much time…my patience was on it limit, and right then I just wanted to open the window and jump out, if I had a chance for it. There was so hot and all the bumps and unevenness on the track made me feel bad, though yet I could still make it without going to the toilet.

_I've already been here for at least 3 hours…_

I sighed, closing my eyes and rested my head against the harsh seat. There was absolutely no way that I was going back to my home, but it felt pretty weird to just be leaving like this. It was so much all of sudden from one day to another, without hesitating and then just locking the house and leaving.  
I felt the package between my legs to make sure it wasn't gone. Old, brown and completely unfashionable, but at least it could keep the things inside, so they didn't fall out.

Some small kids yelled and ran around in all the cabins. Their mother tried to hold them back from kicking a man in the leg afterwards, but seemed to have trouble doing it. He shouted back at the woman and she hit them violently, as to show how bad they had been. The kids cried.

_Too long…_

If I had never met Jasdero or Debitto, would this then never have happened? Or was this only Allen Walker's entire fault?

I had absolutely no idea and I really couldn't stand to think about it right then. If someone was to blame, it should be me. It was hard to explain why, but somehow all the guilt ended up with me as the centric subject and somehow I could never find any explanations on why. Guilt, guilt, guilt and guilt. I could feel it in my stomach, and it kept nagging me all the time. I hadn't slept at all the last night. Even before I knew I was leaving. The last week had just seemed to get more and more complicated.

Soon I would lose my mind and turn crazy with all these things happening…

Jasdero and Debitto… I remembered that they called themselves Jasdevi a few times, but I never really took part of that. I actually disliked mentioning them as one person, when they were two. Besides, I didn't really get why they even did do it.

But now it could all be indifferent, and I wouldn't see them anyway anymore. I wondered if I regretted, or if I was glad about leaving, but couldn't really decide.

* * *

"Reever, is everything all right there?" Komui made his big and sneaky-looking smile. The one I hated the most.

I grimaced.

"Yes, of course… err…"

He approached and looked over my head. The pile of papers, or the "Death pile" –as we called it- completely covered the computer screen and the whole table in front of me. "Work harder." He just said and lifted up his glasses.

I stood up and slammed my hands down on the table aggressively. "What?"

He grinned and was already on his way out of the room.

I clutched my fist. "Work harder…damn you, Komui... I already solved the problems in the first hundred thousand papers…"  
I growled and swung my hand madly to the right side. It unfortunately hit the pile, which first got overbalance, then tilted to the right and at last toppled. I helplessly tried to grab the papers in the air, but quickly realized that couldn't do it.

I glared annoyingly at mess on the floor. Other scientists glanced back at me and giggled, before returning to their work. Johnny instantly ran over to me and bowed down.

"Reever, let me help you!" he said hurryingly and started to assemble the papers.

"Ah, Johnny, you don't have to…"

"But that's what friends do, right?" he asked.

I blinked, but then joined him in the assembling on the floor. "Err… yes, I guess so."

"Have you heard about the news, Reever?"

"Hmm, like what?"

Johnny came closer and placed a hand beside my ear and whispered dimly. "There's been a lot of trouble in a town…"

I lifted an eyebrow. "What kind of trouble?" I asked, a little louder than he said.

"They say that there are several areas that have been cordoned off and that people have seen things…"

"But why's that secret?" I asked and scratched my head curiously. "It doesn't really sound like anything new…"

"Allen was there… you know, to find that new exorcist."

I was just about to continue my questioning, until someone slammed the door open. Rouvelier stood in the middle and madly pushed off chairs, as he tried to get in. Link followed him as usual, and I just couldn't get the thought of a dog following its master, out of my head.

I sighed and stood up.

_What can be wrong now? Probably just another—_

"Komui!" Malcolm yelled. "Where is that stupid supervisor now!"

I walked over to him with rapid steps –since I knew he hated to wait- and made eye contact with him. "He's out getting coffee."

Malcolm growled and kicked a chair aside once more. "Walker is a betrayer!"

I curled my lip, while I thought about what it was about this time. It wasn't like it happened before, so…

"That boy has worked together with the Noah!"

The scientists turned around and stared at him, while whispering to each other. Johnny ran over to me. "Allen's a good guy! What are you talking about?"

"We've observed a lot of activity from near where Walker searched for the exorcist. We _also_ got to know, that he invited her over to _here_. But what is even _more_ important, is that we can conclude that "much-so-talked-about" exorcist is in _collusion_ with the Noah!"

It started to get painful now; mostly in my head. "How can that happen, and then why is _Allen _the betrayer and not the new exorcist?"

He growled. "Because Allen Walker's also working together with the 14th, and is now officially an ideological suspect because of his actions with the Noah."

_But that doesn't even make any sense! _

"However, will you please tell the supervisor that I want a talk with him _immediately_, when he returns!" Rouvelier growled and mumbled something under his breath. He then turned around –almost bumping into Link- and angrily opened the door.

"Bastard…" I muttered, as I started to pick up the papers again. "I don't even understand why we have anything to do with him…"

"Is it really true, Reever?" Johnny asked, making the sad face. If he hadn't had his glasses on, his eyes would have been huge of worrying. I lifted an eyebrow questioning. "Is it really true that Allen did that…?"

I snorted. "Of course not! Allen would not do that… but unfortunately Rouvelier doesn't have anything else to do than give all the blame to him. But of course it sounds a bit… weird, that the other exorcist would work together with a Noah…"

"Maybe she's on their side…?"

"As an exorcist! I don't think so… the Noah only work together with themselves and an exorcist having something to do with them is… very unlikely. I don't think that's the case."

A scientist that had been working in the corner of the room approached to me. He looked furious, and I could immediately feel that it couldn't be something good. "Reever! We can't allow that exorcist to come here, if she's working with the Noah, right! Besides, I don't see the reason to why Komui hasn't sent any exorcists to the town where it all happened!"

I made subtle movements with my hands to calm him down. "I'll ask Komui to do it, all right? Don't get mad at me for all this trouble…"

He suddenly grimaced as scratchy sound from his headphones came. He nodded to himself and said "Yes", "No" and "Of course" for some minutes. Then he suddenly looked both shocked and anxious. Sweat slid down on his face. "What do you mean!" he shouted. "You're kidding me, right? But that can't—"

He immediately tore the headphones off, as a strident sound had drowned the voice completely.

"What's happened?" I asked, getting quite nervous by his horrified face.

He trembled and fell down on his knees. "My friend… a finder from here, just called…" his voice broke. "There was a train crash and he…"

Scientists from every corner of the room rose up from their chairs to see what was going on.

He broke into tears and screamed terrifying throughout the whole department. He traumatically held his hands on his head.

* * *

I stared out, terrified. At the train, the people and rails. Persons cried anxiously and screamed, as they tried to get through the doors. The smoke rose up, but as the sun reflected on the windows, I could easily discern the corpses inside.

I held my hands for my ears. "Don't tell me this seriously—"

It hurt like hell in my legs and I at lasted yielded and fell down to the ground. I grimaced and slowly lifted up my pants, pulled down my socks and stared at the wounded place. A deep hole in my leg cut out the rest of my confidence, as I tried to take a closer look. Blood kept oozing out and the black mass of mixed wounds and dirt was the only thing I could see. It looked horrible and was obviously infected.

Black shadows suddenly came up from the train. In the smoke, I couldn't see what the figures were, but they were obviously enormous and… soaring? I glanced back at the persons behind me, terrified, as they were on their way over to the broken windows and doors in the tram. They were wounded too, but were too worried to think about it, I could see. There was only me, who lay helplessly on the ground –and I almost felt like a coward at that moment-.

For some reason, I got a bad feeling for every step they took. The kids cried, but were pulled together with the parents and adults as they searched for a way to come in.

The conductor was dead. I could see his corpse on the seat in the front train, through the window. It had been squashed in some way, and was impossible to repair anymore. I didn't know what had made the train crash like that, but it didn't really seem very normal, since there was nothing that could be seen in front of it.

We were completely lost at the place we were, and right then it didn't really seem like we could ever come back to the society again. There were fir trees everywhere, so it was obviously a wood we had stopped at.

For every second that passed, I got more nervous.

The people didn't care about danger, or to just get away from the burning train. In a way, I could understand them… they wanted their family and friends, but as a second thought, although it didn't look like it, the danger was still luring in the near.

The shadows at last rose up in the air, and it was in that second I realized, that something was seriously wrong here. I couldn't describe them in words. They were so…horrifying! They looked like pure monsters taken out from nightmares, but at the same time they looked like… weapons. There were seriously weapons build in their deformed bodies. They were dark and gross. I gasped as I saw a kind of head placed in the middle of their stomach –or whatever it was-. It was completely expressionless, and that was what scared me to death.

They looked like they could engulf or suffocate me at any minute, but the people apparently hadn't seen them, cause they just kept walking innocently around.

I wanted to scream or shout at them…just to get them away from the creatures somehow. But I didn't know how.

I tried to get up by my appalling legs as quickly as possible, and I could already feel the stress and sweat coming. I opened my mouth and was just about to say something, until the creatures broke out for real. First an explosion and the whole train was reduced to ash and trash. Second, the people tried to run away, but were helplessly captured in the things' scopes. The kids I had seen before were together with their mother, ending up as a big blur of fire and smoke.

I limply tried to keep the balance on my leg, barely being able to do it, but somehow managed to keep standing up.

Persons all crowded together and tried to get away from the things, but still ended up as corpses.

A second I could hear a sound… no; an explosive noise that came closer and closer. I glanced up, and immediately tried to make a reflective movement. I only thought about getting away, and I guess that was the reason to why I reached a deep hole between the firs. Only a scratch did I get, but tried not to make a sound as I crumbled together in the recess. I was too scared to even do anything else that hide, and I knew that the monsters were getting closer.

_I'll get killed if I don't get away from them…_

_Please…_

_Don't come near me…_

_Please…_

I knew what I had seen, but it would sound pretty imaginable if I ever told anyone about it. It had clearly been several floating monsters shooting with some kind of bullet that created explosions. And they had had weapons build into their bodies and weird dead-like heads too.

"Yumi!"

I had been so stupid. I had naively risen up from my hidden position and looked at who had said my name, without thinking about the danger in the area I was in. I promised myself, that from that moment on, I would try to think before I acted.

But it was not really my real name… it was my nickname, and up until now, there had only been two persons that had called me that. That was also the moment, I realized, who the persons were. It was also the things that frightened me the most; that these persons could possibly be here.

When I saw them, I could feel my heart starting to beat fast. "Run away! This is not a safe place!" I shouted frantically at the two figures. "Jasdero, Debitto! Don't come any near, cause this is—"

They approached, came closer, but were still far away in my sight. "Goddammit! We know what this is, so stop underestimating us."

There was something about their voices, or was it the way they spoke? Somehow, it made me feel miserable. I didn't like it. I defiantly didn't like it, or the fact they were actually here, in the middle of it all. They hadn't taken the train. I knew that. Neither had they walked to here, because that would be physically impossible for every human.

Their expressions were different too. I kept wondering what was wrong with them, and at the same time couldn't get all the deaths out of my head, from the train crash.

The disgusting and floating creatures were still luring up in the air, but didn't shoot. I got a bad feeling about all of this, and I could feel that something weird was on its way to happen.

I was completely alone, except for the twins. Everyone else had died.

I trembled like hell, and right back then, I just wanted to go home again.

They came so close, that they were clear to see now – through the mist and smoke- , and that was when I saw the big difference.

* * *

**_Holy *** it's been a long time since my last update -_-" I'm sorry for all the wait time on...well, several months, I guess? I seriously couldn't write anything more on this after the writer's block and I actually KNEW where this was going, but just couldn't... write it. Damn. Well, I'll try to make it faster the next time...if I can^^"_**

**_Can you see a little difference in this chapter? My English has gotten better, but maybe it's just me who's noticing it?_**

**_Please keep reviewing, cause that really cheers me a lot more up and I think a lot about the reviews I get._**

**_Till next time!_**


	10. Learning to Regret

They had grey skin. I stared at them, getting quite scared now. No one had grey skin, except for…

"Oh god…"

"Finally seen it?" asked Debitto, with a smirk placed sternly on his face. Jasdero was so serious, so… unlike himself. They both were, and I was completely frozen. They approached and my legs were trembling even more.

"You hadn't expected that, huh?" Debitto grinned and Jasdero giggled.

I was shocked. This shouldn't happen, for GODS SAKE this shouldn't happen. This couldn't happen. It was a lie, just a stupid nightmare. In about a moment, I would wake up and…  
No. It was real. This was seriously real.  
I thought about what to do. Should I start running, or fight them? No, that was stupid since I couldn't do any martial arts… but I had to get away… I had to.

_I'm so dumb… I blindly believed in all they said and didn't consider that they were maybe just lying. They were liars… Jasdero and Debitto had just acted the whole time, and now they… but what are they going to do with me? They won't… no, no, NO!_

My heart was beating fast; so fast that I couldn't follow, but it hurt. It hurt so fucking much!

"Why…?" I asked, my legs being unsure whether to back away or keep staying and trembling. "You…"

"We're just doing our job. But I guess you know what it is, since that white haired brat told you everything. Right, Yumi?"

"Don't call me that!" I shut my mouth right after, using my hand to cover up. I didn't know what to say. It just streamed out of my mouth. What could I say? Maybe in about a moment, I wouldn't even be able to say anything. That thought kept nagging me. And the corpses didn't make it any better. The disgusting smell of blood and dead human was in the air.

They had also known everything about what I was doing. They even knew about Allen Walker.

I couldn't stop staring frightened at them. The stigmata looked deep, and their yellow eyes were not like the blue ones. Not at all. These scared me and made me want to cry. They shined in the little bit of darkness that was coming.

"Are you scared, hii?"

I gasped, when he suddenly appeared behind me, breathing into my shoulder coldly. But when I turned around, he was gone again, faster than a human could be. Debitto laughed, big and sarcastically, like he was enjoying my state of fear. I'm sure he was.

"You're weak," said Debitto casually, "Not like that old vampire hag. He was fun to fight, but you're not even able to use your innocence yet."

That was right. My innocence… if I could figure out some kind of way to… no, I couldn't kill them. I couldn't, even though I knew they had lied and betrayed me. I just couldn't… that was over my limit.  
But they weren't my friends anymore. Apparently, they had never been, but it was only me, who had lived in a big ignorance. They had known it from the start; that they were going to kill me. The words hurt to say. It hurt to look at them, the smiles on their faces and their Noah appearances. I didn't like to realize who they really were. I couldn't even manage to look them in the eyes.

I had decided to finally do it. My legs trembled, but I unsurely started to run as fast as I could, hoping strongly to get away.

The satisfaction by finally being on my way away from them, made me confident, and the firs gaped over me the closer I approached. My stomach growled loudly, but I just tried to ignore it.  
My heart first began to beat anxiously, when I could hear steps behind me. They were running too, but undoubtedly much faster than me.

I was lost already. I could impossibly survive this.

I stared terrified out in front of me, when someone made me trip. My feet slipped immediately, and I fell down into the dirty ground. I could feel how it hurt in the wound already, when the soil and stones drilled into it.

"Like you could escape from us… why do you even try?"

"Because she's afraid, hii."

"Oh yeah…" his smile straightened," Fear."

"No…"

"No…?" Jasdero lifted his eyebrow curiously.

"I thought you were…"

The branches were squashed underneath me, when my legs were getting up. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIENDS!" I screamed, and the tears started to stream uncontrollably down my cheeks. I hiccupped, and covered my mouth and muffled the last sentence out. "I thought that I had finally met someone that could understand me…"

Debitto grimaced and frowned. "Well, but then you thought wrong!" He turned to his twin and pointed out in the thin air, hesitant. "Get Tyki or Road, and let's get to the room. I have the key, but we're missing the door."

Jasdero nodded and started to run faster than my eyes could follow.

I didn't really want to cry, since it felt humiliating, but at that time, I didn't really know what was wrong with me. It was like my whole world had collapsed in no time. Now I just felt like… dying.

"I've never liked you, and neither has Jasdero. It was hard… to act like a normal human, but we actually made it." His voice was sounded cheerful but insane at the same time, and he let out a tiny laugh. "It has been hard to be so close to someone else… and most of all, I just felt like throwing up every time I saw you."

He pushed me into a tree and placed a hand tightly around my neck. It was ice-cold. I could feel how it got harder to breathe, and I gasped for air. The tough bark staged my back.

"You have no idea, how much I've waited for this…" exclaimed Debitto, " I almost can't hide my tension."

Suddenly, an enormous flash light came, and I looked shocked and dizzily behind Debitto. I let out a yelp, though I knew they wouldn't care anyway. No matter what I did, it would be over soon. I had gotten into too many problems now, so there was no sneaky ways to get out of this.

A strange door appeared. The corners were golden and decorated, and generally, the whole thing looked colorful and special with so many details around the patterns.

It opened, and from that moment on, I regretted everything I'd ever been sharing with those two.

* * *

_I'm sure you won't believe this, when I tell you, but…_

_I met two strange guys. _

_The first one was very confident and had a strong will_

_The second one was generous and very lively. _

_I liked both of them; actually, so badly, that I just couldn't survive a moment without them. It felt like I was almost becoming dependant on them. _

_They were just like drugs. _

_I didn't like the thought that they started to become more troubling. So much that simply my whole school broke down and ended up as a big mess. _

_Actually so much that I had to leave. I needed to get away; to get stronger, and try to resist their being. _

_I needed to know, that I could survive on my own. _

_But now, I won't get the chance for that. _

_-Because now, I will die. _

_And they will be the ones to end it all. _

Men in brownish clothes explored the whole town. They went down to every single little detail and tried if they could find the answer on everything that looked suspicious. Just a single blood stain and they became worried, like some silly women.  
There were also a few, who wore black uniforms, and looked more significant with their shiny patterns. Allen Walker, Lavi, Lenalee and Kanda were there. They had parted up to go search for a sign of murder – or something worse.

I looked sulkily down from the building, I was sitting on. I swung my legs back and forth out on the edge. "Why did I get this task…?" I asked casually to myself, "I would rather have stayed together with the others…"  
"Oh, that's right", I said and scrambled my voice, so it sounded just like Tyki's, "You've just been sitting there anyway and played with your creepy dolls the whole day, so why not go out and get some fresh air, Road?"

I grimaced at the flowing akuma up in the air. They looked uglier than usual, so I just felt like getting rid of them in some kind of way. I sighed, and pulled my legs up to my chin. All the humans were swarming around down on the ground, all confused and small like ants. Soon the investigation would come up here, so I would have to get ready.

I had even made my hair look more pretty than usual, because I knew Allen would come here, but maybe that had just been a waste of time. I didn't even care anyway. I was sure he wouldn't really notice it.

All of sudden a gust of wind came, and I moved away just in the moment, I could feel a sword touch my throat slightly. The blood spurted out, but as soon as I had been hit, my wound healed. I smiled with delight, when I grabbed around his wrist.

"Road…" snorted Kanda, "I will finish you off".

My smile became twisted and sadistic, as I pushed him away from me right after the clench. Akuma flew towards him, and he swung his sword with ease, while he at the same time ran in direction of me. Blood splattered out, as he cut several akuma into half. They shot after him, but Kanda avoided the attacks.

I avoided getting hit by the sharp blade; swung myself from side to side and snuck up behind his back.

"I know you've got something to do with what's happened here," he exclaimed and tried once again to hit me, but without any luck.

I looked innocently at him and lifted my eyebrow. "And how can you be so sure about that, exorcist?"

He panted and attacked again, but chopped into the harsh ground. "The murders, Road. No human would do anything that devious around here!"

And akuma went in his way and he cut through it, starting in the middle. Without as much as moving a finger, sharp candles emerged. They, at first, got balance in the air and then rushed towards him. He swung himself quickly and barely blocked them.

"Heh…" I grinned.

"Kanda!" yelled a voice some distance away from us. Allen Walker. I stared at him, already getting excited. Finally, he had arrived.

My candles changed direction, and in about two seconds i thought they would be able to hit him, but his arm transformed quickly into an anti akuma weapon. "Crown Clown!" His white mask appeared, and the long cape blew in the air. My candles fell down on the ground, smashed and useless.

"Then you finally came, Beansprout…" sighed Kanda.

"My name's Allen!"

Now it would have been finny – if just the long haired exorcist hadn't been there. I would rather have kept Walker for myself this time.

Suddenly they both rushed towards me. Coincidentally, an akuma blocked their attack once again, and I stepped a bit back to give it enough space. "So you're trying to solve the problems in this town, eh?"

They exchanged looks, before they killed the devilish weapon in front of them. "What do you know about this, Road?", asked Allen, without going into a battle position. He simply walked toward me. I stared at his white clothes, and in a shocking split second, I thought I saw the 14th. I pushed the thought away, as soon as it came. He was dead; not here anymore.

"Well I don't know anything."

"Don't try to act dumb. There were three people who died and one badly injured. Several persons said that they saw something suspicious going on around here."

"Jasdevi", I said bluntly. They both stared at me, confused. Kanda raised his sword slightly. I could see how the sweat was running down his forehead. "Jasdevi were here; not me. I'm just here to delay you."

They didn't say anything, so I continued. "Allen, you were here to meet the new exorcist. I know everything that has been going on here for quite some time; even about the letter."

Allen looked shocked. "How…"

"But the letter was revealed for not only me, because a certain person lost it on her way away."

I little waving golem appeared behind Kanda. It was obviously belonging to him. It scrapped, like there was a bad signal, but I could hear the voice clearly: "Kanda! You must immediately… return home… there's been a train crash! A crowd of akuma is on their way over to you… and you're outnumbered! Kanda, can you hear me! Kanda!"

Allen stared at the black little winged thing. "Reever…"

I lifted my hand up in the air and pressed my palm together against itself. The golem broke into half and fell down on the ground as bits. Small sparkles were the last thing it let out. "Well I say that you're not going anywhere", I said casually and looked at them getting ready to fight.

"Road…" snarled Kanda and Allen tilted his head unsurely.

"You wanna know what happened here?" I asked, like it wasn't even worth explaining it that much.

I would have sung a song, if I had any on my mind at that time, but instead, I would let them play a little guessing game. "A; that is the first syllable… Yu; the second. Her last name means 'darkness', so can you guess who she is?" I smiled, getting expectant now.

They were both confused. Kanda groaned and leaped towards me, getting ready to hit me. "Kaichu: Ichigen!" he yelled while being up in the air, ready to chop down with his sword.

"Her name is…" I hesitated, before he attacked, "Ayumi Kurayami". I said her name with despair, making it sound miserable. Allen twitched.

"Kanda, we don't have time for this!"

He abruptly stopped and glared madly at his companion. "What the hell do you mean 'we don't have time for this'?"

"She's playing tricks with us! You heard Reever; there was a train crash, so we should better get going. There's only one train going around here, so I know what way we should follow!"

Kanda growled. "Tch… don't tell me what to do, Beansprout", he muttered, while he placed the sword firmly in the uniform. Allen started to run.  
Lenalee and Lavi appeared, apparently just coming up from the stairs. "Hey Allen, Yu! What's happened? Found anything?"

"No time for talk" Allen was fast, and already ran in between the two and on his way down.

Lenalee saw me, slightly getting into a position, ready to fight, but Lavi pulled her with him as he realized what they had to do. Stupid exorcists. I shook my head and giggled, already hearing the explosions from down on the ground, where the akuma had started to attack.

It was already too late to find her…

* * *

"Arrgh" I coughed as I was violently pushed down on the ground; no, a floor. I barely managed to look around me, before they had once again kicked me in the stomach. But at least I had seen the basic things in the room. It was big; book shelves were around everywhere, gaping over us. It looked like a library, but there was very cold.

Jasdero giggled and Debitto laughed, like they already knew what was going to happen. It was like they had a plan; and they had perhaps had it planned from the beginning. It frightened me that I was completely ignorant about what was going on. They hadn't even triumphed about, what they would do to me.

"Ah, finally home!" exclaimed Debitto and stretched his arms lazily.

"Hii hii" Jasdero jumped around like a little child, and I couldn't help but look at the moving light bulb over his head. I still held my arms tightly around my stomach, because it hurt like hell. It was quite some time ago, I had felt a pain this intense.

It was like they had forgotten me in a moment; that I was actually lying on the floor and had just been kicked. But Debitto suddenly stared at me, and it was like his charisma changed. What had before been a smile became a grimace. He sent his twin a quick look, before bending down in front of me. My eyes moved uneasily around, when his golden ones considered me for a moment.

"You're an exorcist…" he started, "So why don't you use your innocence?"

I was confused, but however got something pressed out of my mouth, though my voice was as unsure as the before I met them. "I- I don't…"

"Heh, you fucking weak, you are. You couldn't even get over to the Black Order by train", he said casually, and grabbed around one of my long curls. I became afraid by the way he twirled it around his finger, curiously, and then let go. "It really surprises me, that you managed to run away from the akuma vi had sent over there."

I stared at him. "A… ku… ma?"

_The creatures… the ones that had attacked the train, the conductor and all the passengers. Jasdero and Debitto… sent them over there? But where am I even now?_

Like he had just read my thought, he answered bluntly. "We're in the ark."

I gave him an incomprehensible look.

"Millennium Earl controls this place… we're Noah."

"N-Noah…?"

That reminded me of something, I had once heard about in school. Something, we had been told for a long time ago, when i was still a little girl. _Noah's ark. _Yes, there could notbe anything else, and if that was true, the person who controlled this place 'Millennium Earl', then he could possibly be… Adam.

"We don't use innocence, hii" explained Jasdero, "We've got Dark Matter. We're descendants and we've inherited the Noah genes."

"But now, we shouldn't spend too much time talking, right?"

It wasn't even a question.

I tried to breathe for air, when Debitto once again held me up by my neck. My voice was indistinct and could possibly not reach him. It went fast. Suddenly there was exuberant unrest in my body and I was flung across the floor. My head pounded into a book shelf with a thud, and the rest of my body was numb and had no energy at all. Now I would, again, wish that I was able to fight.

"What do you say, Jasdero… shall we do it?"

There was something weird between them, like their voices were twisted and excited at the same time. To be blunt, they actually sounded 'insane'. Jasdero nodded. They both pulled pistols out from their jackets. I stared, horrified. Were they going to shoot me? I closed my eyes, hoping to at least avoid seeing the blood.

But they weren't directing to me.

They pointed to themselves; Jasdero at Debitto's head, and Debitto at Jasdero's.

It made absolutely no sense. I could barely keep my eyes open, as much as it hurt, but I could slightly see a glimpse of a weird aura. It was like the air suddenly became heavy.

Bang!

They shot.

Their shadows melted together and disappeared into a massive hole, which spun around in a spiral. There was smoke oozing out from their indistinct heads and fog was all over the place. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. Why would they suddenly commit a double suicide and shoot themselves? Where was I and what was going to happen? I would really wish that I could get away from here… but still…

… Anyway I was destined to die.


	11. Learning to Change

I gaped. Sweat dripped down from my forehead. I was in a deep shock, and it felt like I could just go unconscious at any time.

Considerably, my eyes moved around, trying to capture the surroundings and what was happening. It seemed like Jasdero and Debitto's bodies had disappeared to some place. They'd simply been absorbed by the shadows and smoke that seemed to come out from their heads. Thoughts, like "Why did they shoot themselves?", "Isn't that the most stupid thing to do?" and "Oh god, their heads can never return to normal" were buried in my mind.

I still looked around for a clue; something with an actual meaning to all this. Instead, I saw a person emerging from somewhere I couldn't really figure out. For a moment, I was confused whether it was a man or a lady. I decided it would have to be a man, since I'd never seen a girl that flat-chested and with broad shoulders. He was wearing what seemed to be a red dress-like outfit. I don't want to go in detail, but he really did look feminine that way.

Who was he?

His face showed of a smile of joy. Wonder what he was thinking. Nothing of all this made any sense, and seemed like something that could happen in a manga. That's why I never read those books.

"What's that look?" he asked, tilting his head. I gulped, and started to creep backwards, until I could feel my back touch something massive. "Can't you recognize me, Yumi-chan?"

I could see his hands turn into fists. He seemed either tense... or he couldn't wait to kill me.

_Yumi-chan..._

My eyes weren't fixed only on him. I was still trying to spot the twins, but they didn't seem to be anywhere.

"Who are you?" I finally managed, trying miserably not to show off any fear.

"Jasdevi."

I repeated his name under my breath.

This guy was actually Jasdero and Debitto, but as only one person? I didn't understand how that could actually be possible. They'd merged together in some kind of way...

"This takes too long..."

And before I even twitched, he was all over me. He flung me to the opposite of the big room. All my breath was immediately taken out from my stomach. I couldn't move like I wanted to. My human body had just taken too much damage over the last hours of torture.

I was so sure all my bones were broken.

"Geez, give me a bit resistance, girl. You're already making me bored to death."

He was getting quite a bit on my nerves. Never had I met someone, who only saw "fun" as something including this much violence. I let out a little groan. In just a second, he had taken the advantage of pulling me up by my black shirt. I was lifted off the ground, hanging freely in the dusty air. I could hardly manage to look him in the eyes.

It seemed to irritate him. "Say something!" he yelled into my face. "Why won't you just look at me! I finally get to kill someone, and you're just doing nothing, you passive bitch!"

I caught a glimpse of the hateful expression he showed off. The makeup he was wearing resembled a bit to the twins', though not completely. He seemed like a mix of both of them, with his long two-colored hair and cranky attitude. He also seemed just as childish as ever.

For a moment, I closed my eyes, waiting for the next shock of being hit against something harsh. Nothing seemed to be happening. He only tightened his grasp. "I can't believe it..." he whispered, clearly lowering his voice. It sounded hoarse that way.

"... I can't believe you're that fucking helpless, when you're an exorcist!"

He'd already offended me enough, so I didn't take it to me that much. I was wondering if I still had my legs, and slightly looked down. Surely, they were there though I couldn't feel them, unless a little vibrating feeling spread around my body, for being in the wrong positions.

"Now I get it!"

His monologue had gone very long, but I didn't dare stop him.

"You're in a state of so much fear you lost your ability to speak, right!"

His last word echoed. Jasdevi started to laugh. Not in a happy way, of course. It seemed rather sadistic through my ears. "Well, then... when you are so silent, I guess you really want to die," he said, putting weight on 'want'.

For a brief moment of exhaustion, I looked into his golden yellow eyes. My mouth opened, and then shut again. He tightened his grip further more. I moaned and he gritted his teeth.

"Goddammit, girl..."

I fell to the floor.

I stared when he, all of sudden, did something with his hair. It kind of flung upwards, and the edges of his blond hair sharpened into an acute angle and pointed directly at me. It didn't even take three seconds, before the tufts were drilled through my chest.  
I couldn't even talk, as terrific as the shock was. Just like a knife, it had really gone that easy through my flesh. "A-a...agh..."

"It's over, Ayumi." His voice sounded so serious, deeper and like it belonged to a grown-up.

For a long time, he repeated his actions; kept giving me all kinds of damage, but without killing me. I didn't understand why he hadn't just done that in first place, but he seemed to be expanding the time again and again. He seemed to really like this. I just couldn't get used to the betrayal. I couldn't ignore the fact that I'd finally made friends, and in the end... it was all just a lie.

I couldn't think clear, when my head was dashed again the wall. The things in front of me scattered and everything became blurry –like the effect of alcohol did.

This was the end.

It really was the end.

Over, done, finished.

Ideas came through my mind. I thought about if I could suddenly become capable of using my innocence, but things weren't that easy and I wasn't that lucky. Other things, like "God will save me," or "In just a moment the exorcists will come and help". No one came. I was finished off already.

_Unless..._

_Maybe, I guess it's worth a try. But really; is this guy the same persons as Jasdero and Debitto? Maybe it won't even make an impression on him. _

_I'm an exorcist, right?_

_... Therefore, I must be in charge of innocence. And it's the innocence the "Noah" want, so..._

"You don't even care about me, do you?" I asked him. I coughed and blood came out along with the spit. "The only reason you're hunting me down like this..."

"Shut up!" He interfered, shook me, and drilled more hair through my body.

"... is because I'm an exorcist, right?"

"You don't understand anything, you stupid human!"

This time, I could really hear that it was two persons talking at the same time.

"And you want my innocence..."

"I told you to shut up!"

I could see the rampage in him. He twitched, his eyes look wider than before and he raged, "Just go to hell and die!"

Once again he took out all the air from my stomach. Since I'd already survived for this long, I guess I really were an exorcist; a human with abnormal powers, which I didn't even know how to use.

"Jasdevi..."

"No! I don't wanna listen! Shut up already!"

It was so close to my heart... the hair that I could've died already. How was it possible to actually be this fortunate?

"Jasdevi, listen!" I yelled at him. He covered his ears and grimaced.

I gulped, but took my time to try to find a solution on all this. I wasn't calm at all; my heart was bumping with a speed I couldn't follow, my palms were sweaty and I could feel myself shaking. Anyway, I tried to ignore everything. This time it depended on my life, and it was not like all the bullying only depending on my pride and feelings.

The whole place was shaking; walls were on their way to hit the floor and the shelves would crush us. This room would soon fall apart, so I didn't have much time.

"Jasdevi..." I tried to focus, though (seen through my eyes) the floor fluctuated. I took a breath and closed my eyes. "I'll give you my innocence."

He took his hands away slowly and gaped. "What?"

"I don't want to be an exorcist at all, so I'll give it to you... voluntarily"

He frowned, and suddenly fell to the floor by his knees. His palms were placed in front of him, holding him up. I saw a recognizable expression. He looked astonished. I saw the surprise and sudden change in his eyes. It wasn't just something I made myself believe; I could really see it. "You..." he started and his hands clutched. "Are you even aware of what a mistake you're making?"

I shook my head thoughtfully. "I don't think so, but if this will solve the problem, then I'm willing to do it. Besides, I barely even know what innocence is. I don't care much about it."

I blinked, making sure my eyes weren't fooling me, but I saw it. He was crying. I had really touched something inside him in some kind of way.

"It's the damn Noah inside me... I can't believe I'm letting it take over again." He rapidly wiped the tears away. "But Yumi... this just isn't right, dammit! Exorcists aren't supposed to do this! They aren't allowed to give away their precious innocence just like this!"

I tried to focus, tried to find something inside me. I felt the sudden change of temperature in my hands. Something warm heated them up. I saw something greenish appear, and I made sure it wasn't just fake. No, it really was there, though it seemed so... unrealistic.

"You're even betraying your innocence. I can't believe this..."

"Destroy it," I told him bluntly and held it toward him, kneeling down until I was in the same height.

I could see he was confused. He was considering this; considering if he could trust me, whether he should kill me or not and what everyone else would think about him. He was afraid to be weak. I could clearly see everything from the look on his face. I had a hard time breathing normally, and tried not to think about my wounds right now, since it really seemed like the wrong time to do so.

Slowly his hand reached out for it.

I gulped.

And his finger tightened around it, clutched it until I heard a creak.

All the shattered green pieces flew off in all directions. I only caught small glimpses of it.

_I guess I never was an exorcist, anyway... _

_I didn't have the skills, I'd been given something I didn't want, and besides, I don't want to lose __**him...them**__..._

"Don't you regret already?"

I sent him a questioning look, lifting up an eyebrow. "No... I don't regret anything..."

I could feel the heat rise up in my cheeks. I blushed, just like I had done when I talked with the twins for the first time in the lunch break.

_The twins..._

I twitched. "Jasdero and Debitto are..."

"They're okay." He smiled at me, and placed a hand on his chest.

"Are you really the same person... as them?"

He nodded, but then looked around in the room. "It's falling apart. We've gotta go now."

When he started walking, I followed, not knowing where we were heading. But I couldn't really keep up with him, and fell more and more behind. Jasdevi stopped and suddenly grabbed me. He placed a hand on my forehead and said something, but I didn't hear. Everything started to look blurry, and I could see the room scatter into a deep black. I fell asleep.

* * *

She was lying on the vine red sofa in Tyki's little room. Not his real room, but he normally used it so much that he thought of it as his own. Anyway, I didn't really care whose room it was. The fact was that I'd placed Yumi here, not really knowing what to do now.

I'd still not transformed back to Jasdero and Debitto.

But I had other things to think of...

I'd done the worst thing a Noah could ever do. Not only hadn't I completed the mission I was given (by the Millennium Earl), but I'd also betrayed everyone and actually helped an exorcist. Or, well...: a former exorcist. Now, she was just a normal human; an average girl. She wouldn't be any different from everyone else.

My mind kept pondering about what to do.

My heart raced, when I heard someone entering through the door, and I swung my head around almost hysterically.

"Chill, it's just me..."

"Tyki," I grunted. The guy just had that habit of scaring my ass off sometimes...

"I see it's over..."

I frowned, and lowered my eyes. "Tyki, I couldn't do it."

"I know."

"Dammit, I just couldn't kill her!"

"Jasdevi, I know!"

He covered his face, clearly exhausted. "Look, you'd better take her to some other place, before anyone else comes here. You're fortunate it was just me this time, but it's a risk to have an..." He shook his head, "...someone like her here."

I looked at her again. She was a mess; dirty all over, her hair being tousled and her clothes being all ripped up. I think I just got a slight feeling of guilt across my body. "What should I do...?" I whispered to myself, but then turned my attention to Tyki. "What the hell should I do! I can't leave he here, and if she returns to her normal life... everything's gonna be messed up. People will think about where we've gone to and..."  
I covered my face.

Tyki sighed. "Look, Jasdevi... I know things seem pretty complicated right now..."

I groaned and muffled sounds under my hands.

"But there's one solution..."

I looked up at him. He seemed serious, and – as usual- ran a hand through his hair, thoughtfully.

"And what's that?"

At the end of my eyelids, I caught a quick glimpse of Yumi. Not that she looked different from before, but I just couldn't stop checking up on her once in a while. I swallowed and waited for an answer. Not just a casual metaphor, like the ones he usually let out, but really an honest and wise answer.

"Erase her memories."

I was astonished.

* * *

**-.- I suck at updates. Anyway, thanks for the reviews and sorry it took so long... everything's been complicated for some time, and not many ideas came to my mind...**  
**I should've made the chapter longer, but it felt like I would just repeat myself if I kept going on in the Jasdevi vs. Ayumi-stuff. However, I'm just glad I finally finished it, and the next chapter's gonna be an epilogue, so... the story's almost reached the end! :D**


	12. Silhouettes

"Erase her memories! Are you crazy!"

Tyki grimaced, because I yelled into his face too close. "Yeah, that's the only way to solve this."

I bit my lip. "But, but..."

He started walking over to Yumi, and just when he lowered himself in front of the bed, I pushed him aside. He sent me an astonished glare. "Look, do you want me to help you or not?"

I wasn't really myself. I felt kind of paralyzed and couldn't form the words right. He continued, "I can ask Road to do it, too."

"No!" I coughed, and then cleared my throat. "She's just... you know, I don't want her to become too much involved in this..."

He nodded, like he could suddenly understand me. Then he stood up and gave me that "I'll-leave-the-rest-to-you"-face. I opened my mouth, but didn't say anything. I guess it was just up to me. Tyki leaved through the door and waved his hand at me just before closing. The silence emerged once again.

I cursed myself and scratched the back of my head.

Had I ever erased another person's mind? No. But I knew how to do it, so I only needed to gain the will. The problem was just that every time I looked at her, it was like her innocent being made me feel guilty. How could I possibly just make her forget everything about me- us? I shook my head. Tried to concentrate, but kept losing it.

But it was the best thing for her.

"Come on..." I said to myself. "You can do it... somehow."

I actually felt something else luring inside me. Something I wanted to do, but I couldn't really figure out what.

I almost fell backwards in shock, when she suddenly breathed heavily and moved a little. I'd been holding in my breath, and then let it out again. She was still unconscious, or, well, sleeping. I felt like an idiot.

I pondered for some time, and then approached. I looked down at her, thoughtfully, and then stroke her hair. Surprisingly, it was pretty soft compared to all the things I'd "done to her". I slid a finger through a frizzy curl. I would've brushed her hair, but decided not to. That would just be too weird. Instead, my hand seemed to act on its own and moved upwards, to her face. Her cheeks were pale, but soft and neat. My other hand joined in, and felt the form of her face. I had actually never had any time to take a close look at the details. She was more beautiful than most of the girls I'd seen. Not like model-beautiful, but just... like an average-beauty of a high school girl. She was pretty. Yeah, that was it.

_What the hell am I doing?_

The hormones raced around in my body. I was forgetting what I was supposed to do; my real goal. I was supposed to erase her memories, so why in the world was I touching her like that? Finally, I stopped myself.

I covered my face and slid my palm across it, squeezing my nose. This was harder than expected.

It was, like something –or someone- dashed his hand into my occiput, because suddenly, I fell down to Yumi, and my lips felt like they were burning. It was hot, but in a way, it was a pleasant warm feeling. I definitely liked her. Why else would I kiss her?

_It's so wrong... she's human and it's wrong... _

"But it feels good," I ended the sentence inside of my head, and let my tongue lick around my lips.

I wanted to do it again. I wanted to kiss her again, so much. I wish I could do it while she was awake, but I knew that I couldn't. That wasn't supposed to happen.

I closed my eyes, grimaced and then placed a hand on her forehead.

"Goddammit," I swore.

I could feel the warm feeling in my palm. I strained it, until it hurt.

"Good night, Yumi."

* * *

I had that feeling that something inside me had changed. But it also felt like something was missing.

_Something that's important to me. _

But I just couldn't remember.

However, I really felt enthusiastic; more than I ever had before. I really wanted to take my school serious, get better at every subject and learn more.

I started talking to people I'd never talked to before. Girls, boys, that didn't matter. People also started talking to me.

It seemed I'd gained courage, somehow; like I'd gotten a strength that was very useful in the social life. I felt refreshed, like I had been born anew.

The day on the final exams, everyone'd been in inches the whole time, but it kind of felt like I could finally overcome everything. I got a fairly good grade, thinking about that I'd actually been pretty off lately, but it would be enough for me on a graduation. It surprised me, but I was happy.

Except that it still felt like something was missing. I just couldn't figure out what in heaven's it was. And the question was: Was it something- or **someone**? It was just like a piece in a puzzle was missing, like I'd forgotten something, and that place in my mind was just... empty. But if I thought too much about it, I got a headache; Or rather a migraine, since it was a completely exaggerated headache.

Holiday had come. Everyone always got wild in the last few minutes, when looking at the clock in the classroom. The teacher gave up upon us, because no one was able to concentrate. I was the last one to go out of class, since I didn't want to join the crowd of high scholars getting squashed in the middle of the door leading to the outside. Every person was impatient, and apparently wanted to run through the corridors.

"Kurayami-san, are you coming with us after school?" A girl, whose name I couldn't even remember, got my attention from the table behind mine. She had some short blonde hair and big and round curls, just like her circle-formed head, but she was very nice.

I scratched the back of my head. "I don't know... "

"Oh, come on! Mido and the other guys are coming too, and we miss a girl more in our group! Please?" She grinned, only being a few inches away from my face.

I couldn't prevent smiling, when seeing her big and brown eyes stare intensely at me like that. I finally nodded, and she almost felt backwards in pure happiness.

I'd never felt better than now.

Of course, there were still mean people going on our school and those who didn't like me, but I was happy that I had at least found someone to talk to.

She started packing her stuff, quickly, like we didn't have much time. The clock rung and jingled throughout all the classrooms, and people cheered in the background. I was just about to cover my ears, but didn't, even though the noise was horribly loud.

When I got every book inside my bag, I felt the blonde girl's hand clutch around my wrist, and she dragged me out together with her. Some guys joined us.

* * *

It had been a great day. I'd been wondering about dropping out of school and go directly to work, but I'd definitely changed my mind. I wanted to continue school after the holiday, for sure. Coming into contact with other people was definitely nice. I didn't feel bad about anything happening today.

On my way home, I watched my back several times. I even thought I heard voices once, but I guess it was just my imagination. My own shadow, being ten times longer than myself, even scared me once. Fortunately, I didn't scream or do anything embarrassing.

It was dark.

I locked the house up carefully, and the door creaked.

I looked around with big eyes, but only sighed when I realized how stupid I was acting.

"I guess I really need this holiday..."

I yelped when the door closed in.

I was being silly. It felt like something was watching me from a distant.

Throughout some time, I'd gotten this weird habit of feeling on my lips. It felt like they were burning, somehow, but I couldn't see anything. Now I was doing it again.

I snapped out of it, and in a split second, I thought I saw a blur of something blonde and dark bluish outside the window.

But every time, it seemed like it were just the trees moving in the wind.

* * *

We watched her carefully.

Even though she didn't remember us, we weren't just giving up on her yet.

My heart raced, when I quickly hid myself behind the nearest wall or anything wide and big, so she wouldn't see me.

She was not ready now- to see me-, but maybe later, we could meet, once again.

I would miss her. But we weren't even supposed to have a relationship. We were too different, and I was too dangerous for her. I was afraid to hurt her.

For a long time again, I guess I would have to live my lonely life as a Noah- our lives; we were two persons.

I wish she could remember our names.

"Jasdero and Debitto."

But who knows? Maybe she could.

* * *

_Silhouettes were what I saw until this day. _

_I finally realized that they could be more, than just shadows in the background. _

_They were the soundless ones passing by me. I felt alone, not being one of them; a silhouette. _

_But now..._

_The silhouettes have finally gotten forms and lives. _

_They aren't just the black contour of people._

_They've lightened up._

_And so have I. _

* * *

**Hey guys C: So, this is the end... finally *sniff sniff*. I'm sorry it took a long time to make... I'm too much of a procrastinator :s Anyway, I hope you like it, and thank you for the kind reviews as always. I can't really promise anything right now; whether or not if there's gonna be a sequel, because I'm already missing a bounch of chapters for other fanfics...**  
**But...**  
**Thank you very much, if you read this far :D I really did enjoy writing this story.**


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